In a surprising twist, the new full body scanner technology has proved reliable in detecting which travelling Leprechauns are carrying gold coins on their persons. Airport screeners have already reaped a tidy sum by telling the Little People tha...
The Pope has slammed airport body scanners after a crucifix was confiscated at Knock airport. A statement read by Father Stig O'Treacy, a Vatican aid, said "His holiness, the Pope, strongly objects to his most secret parts being on display to all...
CHICAGO - Lady Gaga finished performing a sold out concert at Chicago's How About Dem Cubs Convention Center and headed out to O'Hare Airport for her flight to her next concert performance at The Willie Nelson Smoking Is Allowed Auditorium in Austin,...
Osama Bin Laden (OBL) was allegedly seen over the weekend on a security video at an International Airport. Security officials refuse to comment but confirms it is investigating OBL sightings on Sunday. According to the CIA, the tipoff came in the...
TSA suspend two airport screeners after they were caught making posters of a man that appeared through the scanner to have three butt cheeks. The cellulite challenged man who boarded a flight to Boise Idaho and was never informed that he was a c...
Recent reports to local news avenues have said that most people are not even aware that the new security scanners can actually see their naked bodies. If you are not a terrorist with bombs concealed on your body you have nothing to fear of this ne...
Flying by Air for more than a one day trip? If so, then you are like most travelers and have baggage to take with you. Checked or Carry-On, slithery bean counting profiteers along with Steamy TSA Agents behind the airlines counters are saying Cha C...
LOS ANGELES - LAX is the first airport in the United States to install the new Micro-X77 Body Scanner. The Double 7 as it is called was developed by a biologist from Kingston-Upon-Hull, England. Dr. David Faddlefish invented the Double 7 two y...
The New Jersey airport found it necessary to set this up after a Rutgers University graduate student breached security by entering a restricted area to give his girlfriend one last kiss before she left for L.A. Havoc ensued, with many angry passenge...
The new security screening device being tested by the T.S.A. has come under fire for the lack of privacy and for the intensity of the scan. The machine sees through clothing and can reveal intimate parts of a person's anatomy or undergarments. Wo...
The introduction of new body scanners at airports has been condemned by a group representing perverts. The Association Representing Smutty Entertainment (A.R.S.E) is concerned that members working in airport security may have to concentrate on lookin...
Agents of the Intra Border Drug Agency have busted an adult chicken that was carrying 181.2 grams of pure highly refined Ecuadorian cocaine. The chicken, a Rhode Island Red named Rikki, belonging to a Mr. Mickey Maurice LaSetti was noticed by agen...
Luton police are questioing a man who was arrested for causing confusion at Luton airport with a couple of table tennis bats. Airline expert Ron Bexley explains, "Airline pilots are conditioned to follow the signals of ground crew when they wave t...
Manchester airport have unveiled their latest device to counter terrorism, or at least this is what they claim. The terrahertz scanner, or Counter-Terror Hurts Scanner as it has been dubbed by insiders, is the X-Ray glasses that were always advert...
Mexico City - Airport security guard Marco San Sebastien was convicted of fraudulently posing as a medical doctor after patients noted he was suspiciously doing rectal exams with blue rubber gloves and providing MRI exams using an airport security X-...
Over-zealous security guards were quick to spot a potential terrorist threat as innocent passenger Ian O'Cent waited to board the BA flight to Lanzarote. O'Cent was pulled from the line of passengers and taken to interview room when the security...
When Michelle Obama refused to walk through the new X-ray scanner at the Heathrow Airport, on a trip to visit her cousin, the plan to install these new imaging systems in every airport in the country, ran into an unexpected hurdle. The X-ray scann...
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