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Funny satire stories about airport security

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Funny story: Full body scanners used to divest Leprechauns of their gold

Full body scanners used to divest Leprechauns of their gold

In a surprising twist, the new full body scanner technology has proved reliable in detecting which travelling Leprechauns are carrying gold coins on their persons. Airport screeners have already reaped a tidy sum by telling the Little People tha...

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Funny story: Pope Criticises Airport Body Scanners

Pope Criticises Airport Body Scanners

The Pope has slammed airport body scanners after a crucifix was confiscated at Knock airport. A statement read by Father Stig O'Treacy, a Vatican aid, said "His holiness, the Pope, strongly objects to his most secret parts being on display to all...

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Funny story: Naked Airport Body Scanner Image Photo Of Lady Gaga Proves Groin Inconclusividity

Naked Airport Body Scanner Image Photo Of Lady Gaga Proves Groin Inconclusividity

CHICAGO - Lady Gaga finished performing a sold out concert at Chicago's How About Dem Cubs Convention Center and headed out to O'Hare Airport for her flight to her next concert performance at The Willie Nelson Smoking Is Allowed Auditorium in Austin,...

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Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Seen On Video in Airport

Osama Bin Laden Seen On Video in Airport

Osama Bin Laden (OBL) was allegedly seen over the weekend on a security video at an International Airport. Security officials refuse to comment but confirms it is investigating OBL sightings on Sunday. According to the CIA, the tipoff came in the...

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Funny story: Airport scanner reveals man's third butt cheek

Airport scanner reveals man's third butt cheek

TSA suspend two airport screeners after they were caught making posters of a man that appeared through the scanner to have three butt cheeks. The cellulite challenged man who boarded a flight to Boise Idaho and was never informed that he was a c...

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Funny story: Airport Scanners may prove to "discover" a new star

Airport Scanners may prove to "discover" a new star

Recent reports to local news avenues have said that most people are not even aware that the new security scanners can actually see their naked bodies. If you are not a terrorist with bombs concealed on your body you have nothing to fear of this ne...

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Funny story: Airlines and Perverted TSA Agents See Gold and Glee in YOUR Baggage...and Pocket Book

Airlines and Perverted TSA Agents See Gold and Glee in YOUR Baggage...and Pocket Book

Flying by Air for more than a one day trip? If so, then you are like most travelers and have baggage to take with you. Checked or Carry-On, slithery bean counting profiteers along with Steamy TSA Agents behind the airlines counters are saying Cha C...

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Funny story: The Latest and Newest Airport Scanner Is So Advanced It Can Tell If A Female Is A Virgin

The Latest and Newest Airport Scanner Is So Advanced It Can Tell If A Female Is A Virgin

LOS ANGELES - LAX is the first airport in the United States to install the new Micro-X77 Body Scanner. The Double 7 as it is called was developed by a biologist from Kingston-Upon-Hull, England. Dr. David Faddlefish invented the Double 7 two y...

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Funny story: Newark Airport Now Boasts a Special "Final Goodbye Kiss" Area

Newark Airport Now Boasts a Special "Final Goodbye Kiss" Area

The New Jersey airport found it necessary to set this up after a Rutgers University graduate student breached security by entering a restricted area to give his girlfriend one last kiss before she left for L.A. Havoc ensued, with many angry passenge...

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Funny story: Women Upset At Men Administering New TSA Security Screening

Women Upset At Men Administering New TSA Security Screening

The new security screening device being tested by the T.S.A. has come under fire for the lack of privacy and for the intensity of the scan. The machine sees through clothing and can reveal intimate parts of a person's anatomy or undergarments. Wo...

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Funny story: Perverts Slam New Anti Terrorist Measures

Perverts Slam New Anti Terrorist Measures

The introduction of new body scanners at airports has been condemned by a group representing perverts. The Association Representing Smutty Entertainment (A.R.S.E) is concerned that members working in airport security may have to concentrate on lookin...

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Funny story: Cocaine Chicken Busted At Airport

Cocaine Chicken Busted At Airport

Agents of the Intra Border Drug Agency have busted an adult chicken that was carrying 181.2 grams of pure highly refined Ecuadorian cocaine. The chicken, a Rhode Island Red named Rikki, belonging to a Mr. Mickey Maurice LaSetti was noticed by agen...

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Funny story: Man Causes havok at airport with Table Tennis bats

Man Causes havok at airport with Table Tennis bats

Luton police are questioing a man who was arrested for causing confusion at Luton airport with a couple of table tennis bats. Airline expert Ron Bexley explains, "Airline pilots are conditioned to follow the signals of ground crew when they wave t...

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Funny story: New Airport Scanner sees you NUDE

New Airport Scanner sees you NUDE

Manchester airport have unveiled their latest device to counter terrorism, or at least this is what they claim. The terrahertz scanner, or Counter-Terror Hurts Scanner as it has been dubbed by insiders, is the X-Ray glasses that were always advert...

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Funny story: Airport Security Guard Posed as Doctor

Airport Security Guard Posed as Doctor

Mexico City - Airport security guard Marco San Sebastien was convicted of fraudulently posing as a medical doctor after patients noted he was suspiciously doing rectal exams with blue rubber gloves and providing MRI exams using an airport security X-...

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Funny story: Over-zealous security at Manchester Airport

Over-zealous security at Manchester Airport

Over-zealous security guards were quick to spot a potential terrorist threat as innocent passenger Ian O'Cent waited to board the BA flight to Lanzarote. O'Cent was pulled from the line of passengers and taken to interview room when the security...

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Funny story: Airport X-Ray 'Strip' Scanners May be Purchased by Larry Flynt

Airport X-Ray 'Strip' Scanners May be Purchased by Larry Flynt

When Michelle Obama refused to walk through the new X-ray scanner at the Heathrow Airport, on a trip to visit her cousin, the plan to install these new imaging systems in every airport in the country, ran into an unexpected hurdle. The X-ray scann...

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