Strictly Waffle by Rob Barratt It's Saturday night - prime time TV Britain's got strictly no talent X-factory The opiate of the watching masses Tune in to tuneless lads and lasses And get an overdose of the thing we love most Piffle-paffle, wiffle waffle ... waffle Not the waffle from your freezer Not the waffle - belly pleaser But read from monitors and sheets Repeated repeatedly on...
This Poem Expresses My Feelings for You Bob Gates, English Literature Student My dearest Sarah, Your eyes twinkle like the stars, You smell like a rose, I could bring the moon down for you...I will reach up and take it in my hands, write your name on it, and give it to you. It will be yours until the end of time. We could live on the mountains... Do you want the stars? I will roam t...
David Cameron Would Like You to.... To MP's Expense fiddles you will all eventually acclimatise, Realise MPs do not tell an untruth, or lie they aphorise, Never force of expect fiddling MPs to apologise, Support your MP when charges of dishonesty arise, Not complain when we give ourselves a massive pay rise, Realise that the poor, we have to bully and brutalise, Accept for Old...
Where will we find... An Ode that came to the poet as he was making a cup of tea Where will we find people so very temperamental? Where will we find who think fiddling is fundamental? Where will we find nepotistic people, cruel and mental? Where will we find scheming people being instrumental? Where will we find deceit, cheating, and lying elemental? Where will we find folk wh...
What to expect for 2011.... It's not nice! Rich will get richer, the poor will become desperately poor, The prospering ones will be the Etonites, and the epicure, Politicians, Bankers, Investors, and MPs that's for sure, Haliburton with good sales of guns, missiles and armour, Prospects for the unemployed if any, will be very miniature, Workers will be like Oliver, not permitte...
When the rumours first start, the idea of redundancy is an aggravation, Once confirmed, those chosen begin to suffer workplace social segregation, Slowly unavoidably affected by low esteem and cruel self-depreciation, A half hearted look at the job situation brings great perturbation, When you increase your efforts, and try to avoid reprobation, To the job searching you give your be...
Politicians today, are nepotistic, arrogant, and expense fiddlers all told, Generally their an unsavoury bunch, disliking the plebeians manifold, Although they do all have a big ever increasing bill-fold, But not all of them are not as untrustworthy and bad, I behold, Though they have the unemployed to be bullied, shamed and controlled, And the unwashed masses must be inveigled, misle...
This Months Top Poems. Eric Scrondel (Toilet Cleaner) The toilet pan, is white. I look into the water. The smell of the bloke in the toilet next door. Tells me, he has Diahrria. Amy Punty (Nurse) Puke and pus. Bandage and plaster. How I look forward. To my Mince meat dinner. John Zunit (Window Cleaner) Wash the glass. The ladder mov...
Democratic People's Republic of North Korea is proud to announce that esteemed Council for the Arts has awarded coveted Kim Jong-il Prize for Poetry to Kim Jong-il for seventeenth consecutive year. Mr. Kim is well-beloved for finding inspirations...
The Walrus and the Stockbroker by Stephen D. Gross The neon puddled in the street Coney Island bright illuminating luridly the sallow urban blight and that was odd because it was a National Heritage Site Flourescence poured through office panes and with the neon's glare exposed the sidewalk's cracks and stains which had no business there "A painted whore" a man complained "and I...
SARAH by stephen d gross "I hid in a bush I loaded my gun Had me too many kids, I refused to abort I shot me a moose, I was jes' havin' fun Call me hockey mom, it's a ballbuster's sport" Sarah Sarah With your shrill brittle voice you drill holes in my mind Sarah Sarah What ever made you the dull-witted kind? "I can still see it bleedin', its guts in the sand I grabbed me my kn...
I wrote this months ago but I thought people might like to see it again. Will and Kate by Rob Barratt Will and Kate, Will and Kate Better late than never, mate To wed the future head of state Though he has a receding pate I'm sure you'll really get on great, Kate Will and Kate, will he Kate Will he want to masturbate In front of paintings at the Tate? At a really quite alarming r...
The Pope is just a bloke by Rob Barratt I know the pope is just a bloke Jesus was just a man Mary was no virgin There is no master plan Buddha was a human Homer's wife is Marge Sikhs and gurus do not know who's Overall in charge We all have a birthday Everybody dies No one lives forever Bowyers make pork pies Saints were only people And some of them were sinners In the Roma...
A Limericke about the Human Condition on the Occasion of a Major Scandal that has Acquired a Patina of Cynicism That May Destroy Our Faith as It Is Known to Us Presented in Its Entirety by the Poet Laureate on the Mundane, the Preposterous, and the Absurd: Sir Percival Blink, Esq. to His Most Excellent, Gracious Majesty, Humbert II, as He Recovers from The French Blight that has afflicted him...
Oranges are not the only colour purple by Rob Barratt Poets say that there is no rhyme for "orange" That's not true A sporrange is a fruit-based kilt accessory Poets say that there is no rhyme for "purple" That's not true either Who can forget Amy Turple, the 1960's TV character from the soap Crossroads, who always got her words wrong? And her distant relative, Dick Turple, The litt...
The planet Earth has lost its friends, the other orbs are mad. He used to be the talk of the town 'cos of the life forms that he had. The other planets hated it, that he had a population They thought he got all high falutin' with ideas above his station But he was young and didn't care that they flew into a rage. How dare he have indigenous life when he's only 4 billion years of age. B...
Chatting to girls online is fine, but no way to find a date You have to look in the big wide world, not a worldwide website mate You'll never match up, in the real world, to what you portray online, and the girls you find, won't be of 'Amazon stock' in transactions of a BoGoFF kind. They will never be exactly as you think, no matter what they say. And the things you say won't portray you,...
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