New President of Europe, Herman Van Rompuy, better known as Mr. Rumpy Pumpy, has long been known for his like of haiku, federalist super states and, of course, a bit of the old in-out. The bespectacled Belgian has often boasted of his prowess between...
A Baroness has been appointed as the High Representative for the Foreign Affairs and Security of the EU. Baroness Ashton, one time dinner lady at Eaton rejected claims that she was not up to the job. She said at a press conference she held at the...
In an interview with The Vatican Times the new President of the European Union Herman Van Rompuy promised that he would do nothing relevant during his presidency. He said that he had a firm agreement with the Pope to remain as obscure as possible...
20 years ago yesterday saw the final fall of the Berlin wall as loads of mad Germans attacked the structure with lump hammers and chisels in a bid to escape to the soviet bloc in search of much longed for freedom. Probably less well known, yet no...
Following the EU's recent successful extortion of large sums from Microsoft, for unfairly including its free Internet Explorer browser with its brand-leading OS, "Windows", a committee has been formed to find other complicated words to describe and i...
The USA had signed a deal with Poland, forcing it to install missiles at a base on the Baltic Sea. The deal formed part of a plan to make Americans feel tough against what they call 'rogue states' such as Iran, states that Europeans call 'a joke'. But now they've had to shelve their plans, as not even Poles want American missiles on their soil. What was the US proposing to do? The US said...
People in the UK are always saying that 'Eggs is eggs' according to popular folklore. But for BNP Leader Nick Gryphon these words turned out to be portentous. Gryphon was pelted with eggs and almost omelettised by outraged protesters in Westminste...
After years of being settled neatly between the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn, sources close to the Equator yesterday sensationally revealed that it feels like it's time to move on. Though no facts are currently available, and are unlikely...
A new political party was founded today ahead of the European and local elections. Headed by Sir John Bourne, former first class traveller (with wife, care of the taxpayer), the "Expense Party" is unusual in as much as it has no manifesto, doesn't...
It was reported this week from those stupid bureaucratic idiots in Brussels that the new European laws concerning the age old schoolboy practice of 'conkering' have been reviewed. European representative and once TV heartthrob Robert Killjoy Silk...
Warsaw - Vista took Poland by storm yesterday in a Blitzkrieg maneuver infiltrating and bypassing outdated Polish defenses based on Commodore 64 hardware and DOS software. Despite fierce resistance by partisans hackers the Vista software quickly...
In a move expected to cost £18million, EEC commissioners have announced that all Britain's paving slabs will have to be changed as they are all slightly undersized. The standard European regulation size is 45 x 45 centimetres, and the UK's are 40...
Brussels, April 9th, 2010 - EEC President and Middle East Peace Commisioner Sir Anthony Blair (Lord Blair of Sedgefield), PMF (USA), has had a distinguished first year as first President of the EEC. His brave move in granting amnesty for all asylum-s...
"I had a good job in the North East, got the management promotion I'd always dreamed about but before I knew it I was out on my ear" Steve's story is one that is being told throughout the UK. Before being made redundant last year McHeron (check with Steve McClaren's agent if name change is ok - Editor) had worked for two years for profit making body the Football Association. He knows wh...
BEVERLY HILLS, California - The Exxon-Mobil Corporation has just announced that its 2008 profits of $45.2 billion have broken the all-time world's record (again!). CEO Grover Aronofsky-Oliveback stated that his company made a damn good profit, but...
In a move designed to promote health and hygeine the EU have announced that from April 2009 all toilet paper will be printed with instructions urging users to fit toilet paper so that it rolls off the FRONT of the roll rather than the back. Spoke...
The Czech Republic marked the start of its six-month term of the European Union presidency on January 1st 2009 with its deputy Prime Minister in charge of EU affairs, Alexander Armadildo, announcing he intends to enforce a prohibition on professional...
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