Dinner Lady in charge of EU Foreign Affairs

Funny story written by Mark Merton

Friday, 20 November 2009

image for Dinner Lady in charge of EU Foreign Affairs
I can do it with my eyes shut

A Baroness has been appointed as the High Representative for the Foreign Affairs and Security of the EU. Baroness Ashton, one time dinner lady at Eaton rejected claims that she was not up to the job.

She said at a press conference she held at the kitchen of the House of Lords that she was perfectly suited for the job as she gained an immense experience of foreign affairs during her time at Eaton.

She added: "I was in charge of the refectory for foreign students and I have met there sons of most influential people in the world. Those young boys are now in charge of everything that matters in Europe and elsewhere. I can't imagine anyone in the UK who could match this experience. Except maybe the dinner lady before me, but she is no longer with us."

Asked about the "security" part of her job the baroness said that no one knew anything about European security anyway.

"Does it really matter?" said the former dinner lady, and added: "Do you think terrorists would change their mind just because I would know one thing or two about security. So, let's carry on and enjoy ourselves."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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