It was reported this week from those stupid bureaucratic idiots in Brussels that the new European laws concerning the age old schoolboy practice of 'conkering' have been reviewed.
European representative and once TV heartthrob Robert Killjoy Silky gleefully admitted that the only way to continue the autumnal pastime would be by threading a piece of string through a ping pong ball and painting it brown. This said the elderly David Dickinson dopple ganger 'Is an ideal substitute for the evil and deadly and outdated game of conkers that conforms with the 1974 Health & Safety Act, section 52, paragraph c.
He also commented that ' Homeless work shy lazy bastards' should 'lighten their load' by not buying dogs.
