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Funny satire stories about Agony Aunts

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Funny story: Madame Bitters Office Warfare Tactics

Madame Bitters Office Warfare Tactics

Dearest Madame Bitters, I've had my job for a little over 3 years and I haven't been promoted yet. I work hard on my projects and I do a good job, but nothing's come of it. In fact, I've trained two people below me and they've already been moved up. I'm getting very discouraged and I'm thinking about quitting. What do you think I should do? Depressed in Duluth, MN Depressed: I've got t...

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Funny story: Tips for Reigning in Unruly Children

Tips for Reigning in Unruly Children

Deareat Madame Bitters, I'm 63 and the proud grandmother of three wonderful grandchildren. "Kaleb," is five and twins "Karmen" and "Kasey" are four. Their father, "Steve" is my son. Steve and my daughter in law both work full time and I take care of my grandchildren while they work. One of them drops the kids off at 8 am and one of them picks the kids up around 6 pm. This is the routine Monday-...

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Funny story: Madame Bitters Encourages Divorcee to Live Life to the Fullest

Madame Bitters Encourages Divorcee to Live Life to the Fullest

Dearest Madame Bitters, My husband, 'Terry' and I seperated in early May of this year after fourteen years of marriage and our divorce was finalized last week. While I'm relieved that Terry and I are no longer married, I was with him for a good chunk of my life and I'm just not used to being alone. I'm only 34 and I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life. How can I deal? -Flummoxed in Gran...

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Funny story: Madame Bitters Says Cross Dressing Hubby is the Perfect Man

Madame Bitters Says Cross Dressing Hubby is the Perfect Man

Dearest Madame Bitters, Yesterday when I came home from work early I got the shock of my life. I walked in on 'Stan,' my husband of 8 years dressed up in women's clothing, some of which are mine. He was even wearing panyhose, heels and makeup! Stan swears to me he isn't gay and that he dresses in women's clothing to 'unwind.' He also confessed he's been doing it since he was a teenager. I don't...

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Funny story: Dead People Don't Pay Taxes

Dead People Don't Pay Taxes

Dearest Madame Bitters, My wife and I are at our wit's end. The IRS has accused us of tax evasion. According to them we owe 2.1 million dollars in back taxes. We don't have the money and there's a possibility we'll be sent to federal prison. What can we do to beat this? Terrified Couple- in Olympia, WA Terrified Couple: "Since I'm not a tax attorney, or any other kind of attorney I'm unq...

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Funny story: Diet Tips from Madame Bitters

Diet Tips from Madame Bitters

Dearest Madame Bitters, I have had a weight problem my whole life and right now I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I've tried dieting and exercising but the pounds won't budge. Please help me, I'm desperate. -Fat & Frustrated in MS Fat & Frustrated: Normally I don't answer questions about diet and weight related issues and it's not because I don't know what I'm talking about. I...

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Funny story: Mildly Attractive Woman is Ambivilant about Trashy, Comic-con Geek

Mildly Attractive Woman is Ambivilant about Trashy, Comic-con Geek

Dearest Madame Bitters, I'm a single woman well into my 30's and I'm more than ready to settle down. I'm dating a man who is sweet and considerate, but he is a loser in every other sense. He's a garbage man, he's 50lbs overweight and a horrible dresser. He goes to comic book and sci-fi conventions and he says, "Okie dokie," way, way too much. He's crazy about me and he wants to make a life with...

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Funny story: Hot, Nasty Cubicle Sex!

Hot, Nasty Cubicle Sex!

My Dearest Madame Bitters, I've got a real dillema that I hope you can help me with: I'm one of three department heads in a large office. I work closely with another department head, "Sue". She wants to be a lot more than co-workers, if you know what I mean. In addition to the possibility of being fired, I'm not attracted to this woman at all. Any advice? -Pursued in TX To Pursue...

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Funny story: Ask Mr. Rudeness, October 2008

Ask Mr. Rudeness, October 2008

Dear Mr. Rudeness: My boyfriend of several weeks just broke up with me. He says that it's because I am too fat, but I know that cannot possibly be true; I am the thinnest girl in my class. I think that it is because of his fear of committment that he broke up with me. Normally girls hate it when guys say, "It's not you, it's me." However in this case, that's exactly what he should have said...

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Funny story: ASS Fr Fred 44Giveness: Aren't Gays Good Catholics?

ASS Fr Fred 44Giveness: Aren't Gays Good Catholics?

Dear ASSFF$$G, I've been thinking (I know that is not encouraged for Catholic laity and has long been impossible for clergy) but I think gays are good catholics. They never have abortions which seems to be the only moral teaching that matters at election time. They don't use birth control. Since they are not allowed in the US military they can't kill. Doesn't this make them good cathol...

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Funny story: Dear Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia: Does Size, I mean, Presidential Size, Really, Really Matter?

Dear Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia: Does Size, I mean, Presidential Size, Really, Really Matter?

Dear P4YG, I am a mature (let's be honest) an elderly white man who finds himself in a rivalry that he has dreaded all of his white life. Raised in a multi generational macho military family, I was always taught the importance of "size" and the fear that white dominance would be overshadowed by the frightening superiority of the African penile enhancing gene. Now, I am literally fighting...

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Funny story: AssFrFred44Giveness: if England Gets a Catholic Queen?

AssFrFred44Giveness: if England Gets a Catholic Queen?

Dear AssFrFred$$G: Will God forgive Henry the Eighth if England gets a Catholic Queen? GK Chesterton's Lover Dear Lover, GKCL, that is... The apostacy of Henry the Eighth will always bee n a grave sin for the Roman Church since the Vatican lost lots of very valuable property including the Holy Grail, Excalibur and StoneHenge. Catholics, British and otherwise have been thirsting for...

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Funny story: SportsSphere Magazine (Vol. 1, No. 1)

SportsSphere Magazine (Vol. 1, No. 1)

From The Dear Mr. Sports Sidekick Section of SportsSphere Magazine Dear Mr. Sports Sidekick: How come we always hear quotes about baseball, football, basketball, and soccer but we hardly ever hear any quotes about hockey? Just this morning I heard on one of the local radio sports stations here in Fargo, North Dakota that recently divorced baseball super star Alex Rodriguez of the New York...

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Funny story: Dear Uncle Arthur

Dear Uncle Arthur

Dear Uncle Arthur, Please help me. I do not know what to do! The other day I went to my local library to search for information in support of our local campaign against GM crops. When I arrived I was shocked to see my husband kissing an attractive young librarian in the back office. When I confronted him when he admitted that he had been having an affair with her for six months since he...

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Funny story: Dear Kent Pete: My husband likes porn

Dear Kent Pete: My husband likes porn

Dear Kent Pete My husband accesses porn sites when I am not in the house. I haven't told him I know about it, as I'm sure he would be angry that I was 'spying' on him. He always deletes the sites he accesses from the history section, but doesn't realise that there are other ways of seeing what he's been downloading. Whenever he gets in before me he usually lies about the time he's got home a...

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Funny story: 'Dear' Deirdre loses memory stick - thousands of letters stolen

'Dear' Deirdre loses memory stick - thousands of letters stolen

Deirdre Rachid, the famous 'Dear Deirdre' agony aunt of downmarket tabloid 'The Sun' has admitted losing a memory stick containing the personal problems of thousands of readers. Names and addresses were included in the data and it is thought to be wo...

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Funny story: Dear Kent Pete: My baby might not be my husband's

Dear Kent Pete: My baby might not be my husband's

Lucy from Dartford writes, I cheated on my husband - only once - but I'm disgusted I could do that to the man I love. I'm 34, he's 35 and we've been together nine years, married for just two. We are very happy, which is what makes it all the worse. I went away for a what was supposed to be a spiritual weekend with work. I found I was pretty good at a lot of the tasks and the teacher singl...

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