ASS Fr Fred 44Giveness: Aren't Gays Good Catholics?

Written by Pointer

Monday, 6 October 2008

image for ASS Fr Fred 44Giveness: Aren't Gays Good Catholics?
ASS Fr Fred at Religious Vestment Convention

Dear ASSFF$$G,

I've been thinking (I know that is not encouraged for Catholic laity and has long been impossible for clergy) but I think gays are good catholics.

They never have abortions which seems to be the only moral teaching that matters at election time. They don't use birth control. Since they are not allowed in the US military they can't kill.

Doesn't this make them good catholics?

Thinking Lay Catholic

Dear TLC (I bet you give plenty of that to your queer brethren!),

You are a perfect example of how thinking gets TLC's in trouble. We didn't chain those Bible's to the lectern for nothing!

Sure Gays don't have abortions, contracept or kill America's enemies (do you think that's moral?). Of course abortion and contraception are central RC no, no's. But gays could easily be involved in stem cell research and cloning, couldn't they?

Everyone knows they are smarter than most people and more prosperous so they might be in every lab closet across the cloning universe!

I know are going to say that science is the last place you would look for a date to sing Broadway show tunes with but would you expect Gregorian Chant and religious vestments to attract the q-nation?

OK , maybe the dresses, ok, maybe the male voices OK, see this is why thinking is dangerously anti-catholic!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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