London - (Portents): The anagramatic ouija board was at it again this weekend, this time in Windsor Castle's notorious General Pinochet Memorial Wing, where the omens were grim. Comrade Fish and Rome Chief drew a stab, eh? flashed up dramatically...
Sources from within the Royal Household have leaked a story to the national media that Gordon brown was reprimanded by the Queen at their last official monthly meeting at Buckingham Palace last week. The Prime Minister failed to take off his shoes...
Jacob "TIGER" Zuma the South African President who has more wife's and girlfriends than Tiger Woods has birdies appeared at Buckingham Palace today to negotiate to see if he can add the Queen of England to his collection of wife's. Zuma wants the...
A source close to Her Majesty today revealed that when privtely asked what she thought of the possibility of a "hung Parliament" Her Majesty was quoted as saying - "Bloody good thing, I think they should all be hung" Her majesty went on to reveal...
The Queen of England today declared that Scotland is owned by England,speaking from Buckingham Palace she said " Scotland is part of the United Kid On and is owned by England we need your oil money" While the mainstream media continue to confuse p...
Off-the-Wall Street - (Ponzi): His Soreass Fund Management is at the center of a massive punt that simpering Russian impostor Queen Elizabeth Ratzinger will snuff it on Monday, St David's Day. The billionaire financier last got lucky in 1992 when...
Mervyn King The Governor of the Bank of England not the darts player has asked the Queen of England to donate half her personal fortune to the Bank Of England otherwise we are all going to go totally broke. The Queen of England and many colonies a...
In the light of the recent media whirlpool regarding the various views on how undiluted the Sex Education syllabus should be taught, the Queen has decided that "Enough is enough!", and that she had always thought that it was a bad idea, and was impro...
London - (RIP Mess): A shake-up in the Corporation's notorious Category 2 protocol directive has hinted its royal obituary division is on emergency standby. A handy window of opportunity shortly after Sunday's Bafta awards ceremony has been earmar...
Tel Aviv - (Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls): Israeli security chief General Meir Dagan (agent I'm a Danger) "is convinced" his orders came directly from Buckingham Palace. The head of Mossad says only The Anointed One on the Throne of Israel ever sends...
The Queen of England and a number of colonial provinces is to become Queen of Europe in the near future. You might think its a bit far fetched but lets look at the facts. The Queen like the rest of the so called Royal family is of German descent t...
Last week HRH Queen Latifah- I mean Elizabeth II- visited her native home of Somalia for her annual "Poor People" trip. After getting off the royal chopper, she was greeted by an almighty smell, a mixture of death, rats and old people. Se exclaim...
The Queen is a big fan of the status quo, as are most of the Royal family and the British aristocracy. At a recent ceremony at Buckingham Palace the Queen said that she hoped things remain the same for ever. In fact she said that she wanted thing...
London - (Portents): The still throbbing remains of a Hyde Park beaver, split down the middle by a passing No14 bus, have sent shockwaves through Buckingham Palace. Hellfire Club haruspicy experts - proficient in the art of divining the future by...
Detectives are investigating an incident in which Prince Andrew allegedly struck gold while driving into Buckingham Palace yesterday. The Grand Old Duke of Yorkie Bar reportedly made the strike as a policeman held him up at the Palace gates to gro...
WEMBLEY, England - One of Britain's most famous lingerie models Jodie Marsh has announced that she has become engaged to her hairdresser known as Nina. The 31-year-old Marsh, who has a very muscular body, said that out of all the men and women who...
Forces sweetheart Prince William has arrived in Sydney on his first royal visit representing the Queen. However he has caused some raised eyebrows amongst his subjects 'down under' by carrying out his duties whilst putting on a Queens voice and acti...
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