The Queen's speech set out the first 18 days of the coalition government. An announcement that there were to be 'sweeping changes', shocked many custodians, janitors and cleaners around the country. Spokesman 'Billy Broomhead' said, "Why us? Wha...
According to our showbiz correspondent, Buffty Ginslinger, the eccentric English film producer/director, Her Majesty The Queen is to embark on a gruelling nationwide stand-up tour with cocky Scouse comedian Stan Boardman. "It'll do the old bird go...
Following a series of announcements designed to transition Scotland to a more independent state, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has declared that Haggis should now be considered the Scottish State Bird. Immediately engaged in damage control over...
Following her 57th consecutive reading of a Queen's Speech and the first to be written for her by a Coalition Government, Her Madge had a few words with the PM in the Robing Room at the Palace of Westminster. (Please excuse my 39 word sentence, i...
Citizens of the UK today rallied firmly around the Royal Standard, in total support of HRH The Queen, as the game old bird tries to come to terms with the fact that she allowed her precious son to become betrothed to a ginger haired money grubbing ho...
After a weekend of tabloid SHOCKS involving the Duchess of York's crass-for-access foibles, the Queen has pulled out all the stops in a bid to battle the news cycle. Unconfirmed reports indicate Buckingham Palace will announce that Wallis Simpson...
London - (Cash-for-Trash): Soaring London temperatures and a ghastly ex-daughter-in-law corruption scandal are putting the kybosh up HM's pleasant annual trip to inaugurate the Chelsea Flower Show. With the thermometer nudging thirty degrees celci...
London - (News of the Screwz): Tuesday's glorious Glib Dem/Con freakshow is on the skids. Sordid money-grubbing revelations about Sarah, Duchess of Yuck pimping for Prince Andrew have sent HM's blood pressure rocketing. A fresh installment thre...
The United Kingdom is waking this morning to the shocking news that the current monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, has been sold to a Russian Oil baron by the Duchess of York. The Duchess, Sarah Ferguson, who was divorced by the Queen's son Andrew in 19...
Prince Charles, the 61 year old heir apparent to the throne of England, is not making the Queen happy. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, said that "we will be pleased when my son finally outgrows his current Whoopie Cushion phase and stops sneaking t...
A DJ who made a joke about Queen Elizabeth II popping her clogs is surprised it has attracted so much publicity. Danny Kelly who works for a radio station in the West Midlands is sorry if it offended anyone but is delighted that someone was actually...
London - (Grim Reaper Mess): "Ha ha ha! Nearly pissed myself laughing when I heard old Fatty Mountbatten had finally croaked it!" BBC WM radio listener Prudence Blow commented today. This 'typical' audience reaction to presenter Danny Kelly's gaff...
Windsor - (Grim Reaper Mess): "This could be the death of her!" slimy treasonous king-maker the Duke of Norfuk moaned today as news of a massive political impasse continued to dominate UK headlines. It was supposed to be tomorrow - the 65th annive...
While standing guard at Buckingham Palace, a young man of undistinguished birth, had the audacity to hang his scrotal sack outside his pants while guarding the Palace from intruders. Unnoticed for sometime, a middle-age cougar tourist from the Ameri...
London - (Portents): Her father's bejewelled swastika flag is already draped over a gold-plated coffin of black locustwood, hewn from Regensburg Castle's ariosophic forest. Tonight, the Windsor chapter of Hellfire Anonymous is on emergency standby...
London - (PiccArso): "It's a lasting impression," National Gallery sources said today, "maybe left by someone who's been sitting on her face." The comment comes as yet another 'warts 'n' all' painting of Queen Elizabeth is unveiled showing the so...
LONDON - Mollie King and Una Healy, singers with the British all-girl band The Saturdays were thrilled to learn that they will be performing a command performance for the queen mother herself Elizabeth II. The Saturdays first hit single entitled "...
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