Atlanta - CNN president, Jeff Zucker, has leaked information that shows the network is aware of what happened to two years of missing emails between embattled IRS operative, Lois Lerner, and various people in government, including the White House...
Baghdad - As Iraq falls into chaos, Sunday talk show queen Susan Rice applauded Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri and his militant army for taking over huge areas of territory in Syria and Iraq. "From what I've seen," Rice stated, "The militants have fo...
Washington - Outgoing 16 year-old White House press secretary, Jay Carney, has finally admitted his secret sex change transformation from a man to a woman is well underway and that hormone replacement therapy is ongoing. Carney, who originally had...
Mexico - U.S. Marine Andrew Tahmooressi is still being held in a Mexican jail after making a wrong turn and ending up south of the border with three firearms in his vehicle. The following is some advice the marine might use to explain the mishap and,...
New York City - Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton came out of the poor house long enough today, on her current book tour, to confess to the world how hard her life has been. She and former President Clinton were "dead broke." Clinton,...
Houston, TX - President Obama's string of bad calls continues as one of his best opportunities in recent memory for a rating-boosting photo-op on the anniversary of the D-Day invasion went embarrassingly wrong. The President was supposed to sh...
Washington - UN Ambassador Susan Rice made the rounds on the Sunday talk shows once again to announce that freed prisoner, Bowe Bergdahl, was released after a prisoner swap, involving five Taliban terrorists, after the Taliban threatened to relea...
Washington, D.C. - Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner. Over the we...
Washington, D.C. - 16 year-old former White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, is in the hospital for observation after being beaten up by a door as he left the press briefing room after announcing his resignation. Carney, who now plans to fin...
Los Angeles, CA - Some people don't know when to shut up. Such is the case with actress Gwyneth Paltrow. Her mouth has gotten her in hot water with critics again and, this time, drastic measures have been taken to prevent further asinine comments...
Santa Barbara, CA - As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation's elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren't nearly as smart as they are. Elliott Rodger killed six people la...
New York City - Mark Goodman, a former VJ from the 1980's heyday of MTV, was hauled away in handcuffs last week after being caught hitting the button that turns all Sirius/XM radios on, regardless of whether the customer has paid for a subscripti...
Isla Vista, CA - A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get "retribution", as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on one creature in particular:...
Philadelphia, PA - Although the site of the Democratic National Convention has not yet been determined, one bit of information has leaked out. The keynote speaker will be Chelsea Clinton's soon-to-be born child. It is uncertain at this point if th...
Washington, D.C. - President Obama sternly admitted that no one in the country is more outraged than he over the news coming out of the VA scandal where numerous veterans have lost their lives waiting for medical care. Nobody bought it, of course...
Washington, D.C. - After an average day of spinning details of current events to make the President look good, no matter how bad the situation, White House spokesman, Jay Carney, needs practically an entire pharmacy to help him sleep at night.
Washington D.C. - Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon. The Republican congressman fr...
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