CHICKITIN: Dr. BILLINGSGATE wishes to thank Guy Lombardo for providing the inspiration for "The Immigration Song." It is a variation of "The Chicken Song" that was quite popular back in the '40's and '50's and was sung by the vocalist for Guy Lombardo's band. THE IMMIGRATION SONG Cock-a-doodle-doo, bless our illegal immigrants They bypass our borders the best they kin Sometimes nine an...
Believers in the fantasy myth of evolution are today awestruck as it is claimed that the evolution process has been reversed and a chicken has been genetically modified to develop a maniraptora snout. What the imbeciles fail to understand is that...
In an effort to encourage community wide responsibility the government has announced another round of punitive measures, which according to liberal lefties, risks further alienating those at the margins of society. To deter a repeat of anymore riots...
Dire Sear. I have wishings to explort the known phrase, that is of "pecking order". I as you are knowing to, am from the origin, that which is of People's Republic de Chine, or that witch is the "Chinamen" to of old standings, leferences to such Blingo Harlls of etc, Narlwhich, Hrull, Wokington, etc many "Top Rlank" Blingo, fatty comickal jhoke-takure and so Forthe. "Pleas twoe Jingo-Jingo...
Scientists working in Ontario, have learned, to some degree, how to communicate with a number of animals and birds. A paper recently published by Scientists working out of the University of Strange Science in Ontario, Canada, includes data relating to egg-laying hens and their 'thoughts'. Those scientists who 'allegedly' are able to communicate with these hens announced that they have learne...
ONXARD, California - Eastley P. Dinwiddie, spokesperson for The Southern California Chicken Farmers Coalition has stated that many nationally well known chicken restaurants are closing in honor of International Respect For Chicken Day. The holiday...
An unhappy chicken on Jackson Farm in Crump, MI, has gone on an egg-laying strike to protest the quality of her evening feed, according to U.S. agricultural officials. Twinkie, a red speckled hen who has produced over 300 eggs for local consumption in the past year, is dissatisfied with the new, cost-efficient feed formula recently introduced by Farmer Tom Jackson. The formula, which includes...
Crackpot Barry Sagani, the overly optimistic evolution buff has sensationally rocked the science world with his 1 inch cock. Like it says in the headline. The male chicken was hatched from an average sized egg, yet, now fully grown it measures onl...
Continuing the pioneering work of legendary turkey farmer extraordinaire Bernard Matthews, Irish chicken breeder Patrick O'Feckit has come up with an ingenious scheme which may answer the ever-increasing demand for chicken. For many years he has...
Where would we be without eggs? Good question - none of us would have been born were it not for eggs. Ovulation and all that. And chicken...where would we be without chicken? With eggs, you've got fried eggs, boiled eggs, poached eggs, omelettes, pickled eggs, cakes, pastries, flans, and all manner of things egg related. It's the same with chicken - roast chicken, fried chicken, chi...
British scientists who looked into the behavior of chickens and say they found hints of empathy being shown - the ability to see things from another's point of view - has not been received well from egg producers who fear people will now refuse to bu...
Most of the world's top chefs wear socks, which goes a long way towards explaining their success in Michelin star awards, but the secret to top chefery lies in knowing which socks to wear whilst preparing a specific dish. Today, we shall be concentrating on the perfect chicken "sock" kebab - so called, because the barbecued chicken is stuffed gratuitously into a pitta bread, like a foot in a so...
There are plenty of "How To" articles for buying houses and the other big decisions. How To books for cooking, however, are rarely called "How to Cook", unless you look for books by Delia Smith. Instead, they have a bewildering array of names, such as "30 Minute Meals", "101 Recipes for Lentils", and the like. This makes selecting appropriate reference material more complicated. Many of you wil...
Booming feline friendship business Connect-A-Cat, founded in 1999 by Willimantic, Connecticut couple Herman and Eleanor Bellhousing, is set to cut its Connecticut connections, writes Business & Repetitive Sound Effects Editor, Allie T Ration. Connect-A-Cat was started in November 1999 after the Bellhousings befriended a stray Ginger Tom that had taken to sitting in their kitchen window and...
It was revealed today, that scientists have developed a way of curbing the spread of avian flu with the help of genetically modified chickens that do not spread the virus. The chickens have an extra piece of DNA inserted into their genomes which p...
Farmer Milo Plowshare of Loose Bowels, Kentucky has won an award for having a rooster, "Big Red" which has the biggest pecker in the world. "Big Red can't hardly walk around his pecker is so huge" Plowshare told our reporter, Rube Goldberg. "You w...
The leading pro-animal non-profit agency, whose name we dare not speak, has released a shocking new video called, "About 1 Billion Individuals Are Killed Each Year for (name of international fast-food chain)" In the gory video, chickens are fed, h...
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