Washington DC: The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced today that Salmonella bacteria have been found in rolls of toilet paper. This finding was withheld from the general public for five days pending verification that it is the same strai...
Scientists working on research into the effects of Global Warming have said that they believe the climate of the Earth is being altered due primarily to the excessive use of toilet paper.
ThSpoof.com - With the 'convenience paper' factories closed, and turd workers on strike, the world has been left caught with their pants down, and their bottoms dirty.
NASHVILLE, TN - In a stump speech to The Amputees of America, Senator Hillary Clinton approached the podium trailing a length of toilet paper from the leg of her Wal-Mart designer pant suit.
Thousands of 2-ply Charmin toilet tissue closet squeezers came out today to mourn the death of Mr. Whipple. Mr. Whipple, who was famous for squeezing toilet tissue, died in Hollywood on the set of another commercial yesterday.
Baja, Mexico - Known only as the nosey grocery store manager who asked generations of shoppers, "Please, don't squeeze the Charmin," Mr. Whipple was a man we hardly knew but everybody immediate recognized, even in Mexico. Like many Amer...
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President George Bush announced on Monday that Kimberly Clark Corp. will take over the printing of US dollars and Treasury bonds on special paper, in order to enhance their dual use as investments and also as paper for perso...
Environmental Engineers from the WC Crapper Foundation have announced they have secured major private equity funding to complete the development of the world first paperless loo.
NEW YORK (Rooters) -- Canada has alerted consumers to the dangers of fake Chinese toilet paper containing industrial solvent and dangerous bacteria.
In a move that reminded political historians of the evacuation of the White House by Jimmy Carter, Gordon Brown entered the Prime Minister's residence on Downing Street to find it empty.
(Washington) - The Environmental Protection Agency, based on the utterings of pop music diva, Sheryl Crow, has issued new guidelines on the amount of toilet paper Americans may use.
Marshaltown Iowa, a woman was caught red handed stealing three rolls of toilet paper from the local courtroom. The woman is facing three years incarceration for the crime.
The International Association of Recyclers announced today that after extensive testing they were now going to endorse the recycling of toilet paper. President of IAOR, David Crumbelt made the announcement.
A gang of thieves, whose blatant scummery has shocked locals, has rocked Milton Keynes, North Bucks. They've been nicking public loo-rolls, and the council is doing practically absolutely nothing about it.
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