Washington DC: The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced today that Salmonella bacteria have been found in rolls of toilet paper. This finding was withheld from the general public for five days pending verification that it is the same strain, as seen in contaminated tomatoes.
How the cross contamination from tomatoes to toilet paper occurred is still unknown. Also, whether Salmonella poisoning can be ingested other than orally is currently being investigated.
DHS advises the public not to panic, but to take prudent precautions. Avoid the use of toilet paper and all associated consumable paper products such as facial tissues, paper towels and napkins. Do not use newspapers torn into strips, as the ink is highly toxic. Linen bath towels ripped into strips are recommended, especially if they are recycled after use by being machine washed. Disposable corn cobs are also safe to use.
Again DHS advises the public not to panic, as we are not in deep yogurt yet!
