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Funny story: Liverpool sign Kenny Dalglish as emergency striker

Liverpool sign Kenny Dalglish as emergency striker

The world of football was shocked today, when Liverpool signed ex player and ex manager Kenny Dalglish, on a one year contract. Under fire manager, Brendan Rodgers claimed it was not an act of desperation, but a move based on Dalglish's experienc...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 4th September 2012 - MICHAEL OWEN SPECIAL

Football Gossip & comments 4th September 2012 - MICHAEL OWEN SPECIAL

Michael Owen has joined Stoke City on a one year contract. This ends speculation he would rejoin old club on Merseyside, Joke City. Owen was persuaded to join after a 30 minute conversation with life-long Stoke City fan and comedian Nick Hancock. Stoke fans said it was the best ever episode of 'Hancock's Half Hour' The deal was finally completed three days after the Transfer Window closed...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012

Liverpool midfielder Jonjo Shelvey, 20, whose grandmother is from Edinburgh, has held talks with the SFA about potentially representing Scotland. (Sunday Mirror) "See you Jimmy, I mean Jonjo" England manager Roy Hodgson insists he will stick with veterans Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and John Terry. Lampard, 34, Gerrard, 32, and Terry, 31, will not be discarded as they enter their 30s. (Dai...

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Funny story: Sorry Scousers Shot Down In Flames By German Gunner

Sorry Scousers Shot Down In Flames By German Gunner

Nothing seemed to go right for Liverpool this afternoon at Anfield, where the once mighty reds huffed and puffed against a fairly lightweight Arsenal team, yet failed to make any real kind of impression. German Gunner, Lukas Podolski fired the Gun...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 26th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 26th August 2012

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez insists he has a nice side despite admitting he gets angry on the pitch. (The Guardian) And if you disagree with him, he'll bite your ****ing ear off! Tevez is my role model says Luis Suarez (Daily Star) Er yeah, that could be were your going wrong Luis. Balram Chainrai, the former Portsmouth owner, has submitted a new offer in a bid to buy the League One cl...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 24th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 24th August 2012

Fulham have lodged a formal complaint with the Premier League over Liverpool's interest in Clint Dempsey. (Various) Fulham going against the grain here, the rest of the country are laughing at Liverpool, and they're complaining about them. Wolverhampton Wanderers agree fees of £22 million in selling Matt Jarvis to West Ham and Stephen Fletcher to Sunderland. (BBC Sport) Newly minted Wolves...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 23rd August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 23rd August 2012

Players who have quit Arsenal over the last seven years have amassed 44 winners' medals between them at 11 different clubs, while those who stayed at the Emirates have empty trophy cabinets. (The Sun) But hey, whose counting? And think of the money they've saved on polish. And new trophy cabinets. Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers denies he is taking the Reds' Europa League qualifying match a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 21st August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 21st August 2012

Brazil international Kaka, 30, has been offered to Manchester United on a season-long loan as Real Madrid prepare for the arrival of Luka Modric. (Daily Mail) Man United are now the first go to club when your offloading a player aged 29 or over. Zenit St Petersburg have made a fresh approach to permanently sign Andrey Arshavin, with Arsenal seeking £10m for the 31-year-old forward. (The Time...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 19th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 19th August 2012

Liverpool's Scottish midfielder Charlie Adam has warned his club-mates to expect a hostile atmosphere when they visit Hearts in Thursday's Europa League tie. (Various) No need to worry about a Glasgow Kiss, but watch out for the Edinburgh Elbow.. Rangers crowd of 49,000 v East Stirlingshire in Scottish Division Three was 17,000 more than the combined attendances of the Scottish Premier Leag...

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Funny story: King Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...

King Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...

Anfield, Merseyside: Deep within the 'bunker' mentality that makes Liverpool FC one of the legendary world Football Clubs, sits King Brenny. Before King Brenny, on his desk, lays a reportedly 600 page dossier that highlights the new dawn! Let us...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 11th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 11th August 2012

Luis Suarez agrees new long-term deal with Liverpool. (BBC Sport) He's going to racially abuse and refuse to shake hands with opposition players for even longer than originally expected. Dutch international Wesley Sneijder is urging Inter Milan to buy his team-mate, 27-year-old midfielder Nigel de Jong, from Manchester City. (Metro) He also wants a push-bike, a packet of sweets and a new c...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 10th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 10th August 2012

Liverpool boss could sell Daniel Agger to Manchester City. (BBC Sport) If they sell Agger, where will they get their defensive swagger? And who will move like Mick Jagger? Team USA win the Olympic Womens Football Gold Medal, gaining revenge on Japan who beat them in last years World Cup Final. People said Team USA had no hope against Japan, but of course they had Hope Solo (not Hans Solo)...

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Funny story: Engand football team move to third in world rankings

Engand football team move to third in world rankings

Wembley HQ, England: With Team GB consolidating their third position in the Olympic tables, now it is time to shout a big "Hurrah" for the England Football team, who are third best at infighting, shagging each others wife's, getting boo'ded at by th...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Jack Sullivan, son of West Ham joint-chairman David, has said on Twitter that the club's interest in Liverpool striker Andy Carroll is over. (Daily Mirror) Mainly because Andy Carrolls interest in West Ham never began. Ravel Morrison, now on loan at Birmingham City, was flown home from West Ham's pre-season tour because he needed to have seven teeth removed. (Daily Mail) Don't they have den...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 3rd August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 3rd August 2012

Portsmouth are due to play a friendly against AFC Wimbledon next week and such are their financial problems their squad list in the programme is empty. (Metro) Bring your boots - you might get a game! Liverpool beat Gomel 1-0 in Belarus in the First leg of the First Round of the Europa League, with a goal from Stewart Downing. Who said Stewart Downing can't produce the goods at the highest l...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 2nd August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 2nd August 2012

Olympics Mens Football: GB beat Uruguay to reach quarters The team captained by Luis Suarez will now be known as UruGoingHome. Olympics Womens Football: GB beat Brazil at Wembley. The ladies showed they are as equal if not better than the men, Mainly by missing a penalty which would put them 2-0 up. The match was watched by 75,000, an incredible figure for womens football. Although hal...

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Funny story: Andy Carroll "gotta talk proper" after West Ham move

Andy Carroll "gotta talk proper" after West Ham move

Prolific* England striker Andy Carroll is to receive intensive linguistics training as part of his £2 million loan move from Liverpool to West Ham. One of the reasons for Carroll's lack of success at Liverpool following his £35 million move f...

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