After years of fighting it, teachers nationwide are now accepting Textlish as a legitimate writing style. Skipping articles like "the" and "an" and spelling phonetically is improper English but it's fine in Textlish. Now high schools and even middle...
WASHINGTON, DC -- President Barack Obama has put military men and women off limits to predatory for-profit colleges that have traditionally preyed upon the weak and stupid, including veterans of the U. S. Army, the U. S. Air Force, the U. S. Navy, th...
A report on The Bilderberger meeting which concluded recently somewhere on a farm . The provisional offerings for accommodation on the farm were The Chicken Shack, or one of the many outlying buildings and stables, which were categorized under "Shack and Or". The Chicken Shack is by far the largest building, as the farm's main business is rearing fat chicken's for underweight Americans. Of t...
An overhaul of GCSEs in England has been announced by Education Secretary Michael Gove in an attempt to raise standards to "compete with the best in the world". Mr Gove announced that the government was thinking of introducing an I-Level standard som...
Education Minister Michael Gove has had a street re-named after him in Gravesend. Michael Gove Grove is a quiet row of newly re-furbished houses recently occupied by newly-educated families and young people who have benefitted from Michael Gove's...
Following the news of the decline in the number of pass grades in English Literature, the Stoodents Younion of Grate Britten have commissioned a re-print of the Blyton Book of Smut for distribution to all state schools. The following jokes are a random sample taken from it: A lady goes to the Police Station. "Can I help you?" says the policeman. "I hope so" says the lady. "You see, a man has...
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Virginia - A group of over 100 students at the University of Virginia (U.Va.) declared on Friday that they were following the footsteps of several professors who resigned earlier over the university president's "near-death" experienc...
New research in cognitive behaviour has shown that the order in which we learn affects what we learn. "We believe that maths is deliberately taught before religious education," said Michael Beye, spokesman for the Discovery Institute, the militant...
College is much better than real life. If I could pass on any advice, it would be to never graduate…. Stay in school FOREVER. In the spirit of making my life more difficult than necessary, I entered the work force before my official due date. I wish (as in I am begging you dear seniors) you would only do the opposite. With that being said, I have one piece of advice for you. Fail a final, loos...
A government report on education in the UK, published today, draws radical, new conclusions about the causes of the apparent decline in educational standards. 'It had become established wisdom that young people were becoming more stupid,' explaine...
Rick Santorum, candidate for president of the United States of America, announced this morning that he had introduced a plank in the GOP 2012 platform to send all high school students with a SAT score above 550 to re-education camps. "What we don't n...
"Action" is what the Hollywood A-Lister Charlie Sheen shouts to the 30 or so men on a boiling film set in Afghanistan, but far from directing a new film about the war in Afghanistan, Charlie Sheen has been giving acting lessons to Al-Qaeda. Havin...
A provision in the much maligned No Child Left Behind Act has helped Arne Duncan, United States Secretary of Education, succeed where Jesus Christ failed. What is particularly remarkable is that Duncan's success came without 140 mile per hour winds,...
Teachers who are currently forty-five years of age will still be teaching in 2035 aged sixty-eight. At least those who make it will. This makes it highly relevant to ask what teaching will be like when they finally limp over the retirement finish line. The Spoof contacted futurologist James Randi, and asked him. "The teaching profession was remarkably resistant to change for centuries," said...
Applications by college leavers seeking to acquire a worthless piece of paper confirming they too had successfully been exploited for three years of their lives at University, are running at 9% below last year's level, says the Ucas admissions servic...
Conservative Minister's idea to improve numeracy and literacy! Pupils who fail to get decent GCSEs in maths and English should keep studying for new subjects, ministers have announced this morning. The move follows complaints from the business...
The school leaving age should be cut to being as low as the average pupil in England and Wales can count, a former chief inspector of schools has said. Sir Chris Woodhead told the Times that allowing pupils to leave school at the age of 14 rather...
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