London - The Governor of the Bank of England has rubbished Palace predictions about the Queen's imminent death. Top Hellfire Club number cruncher Mervyn King blamed the ubiquitous QE2 nickname in a City speech at crunchtime - er...lunchtime! - tod...
London - An image of Prince Andrew with a Hitler mustache has appeared on Palace pancakes. The dish of scrummy crepes had been cooked up for the Queen's Shrove Tuesday pleasure tomorrow. It was to feature at a Palace party honoring delightful y...
Susan Boyle has offered Queen Elizabeth a special gown to wear at Wills's and Kate's April wedding. Susan has kindly offered the Queen the gold dress SHE wore at her April '09 BGT audition. She said that it brought her luck and thinks it would be ideal for Queen Elizabeth and, more importantly, it will save the country a few quid. Naturally the famous dress has been dry-cleaned and is hangi...
A Football Association spokesman has reiterated their belief that Wayne Rooney will accede to the United Kingdom throne even though Prince Charles has been waiting in the wings for 30 years. Brian Hayes, the F.A's Director of Communications, threw...
The Queen is said to be considering a spring House (of Windsor) cleaning as the Duke of York's With-Friends-Like-These scandal threatens to turn into a real toe sucker. Bad news is swamping the monarchy at a pace not seen since the Royal Divorce-Off...
LONDON - It is being reported in several England publications that the sharp-tongued comedian Ricky Gervais has agreed to be the master of ceremonies at the upcoming April 29th Royal Wedding Reception for Prince William and Kate Middleton. Gervais...
Queen Elizabeth has, apparently, contacted the American Subo Fanatics and has commissioned a 'very special' wedding gift to be hand-made for William and Kate. Queen Liz has been in touch the the head of the Quilters...yes...you read that correctly...
The Queen has been forced to give up riding, her favourite pastime, because of chronic knee pain. The condition has also meant that she has had to have a £1million lift installed at her Sandringham home. Knee pain is a terrible burden for horses.
The well kept Royal secret is no longer 'well kept'. Spoof Writer, Lady G. has been working undercover at the Palace as a lady-in- waiting (waiting for a 'scoop'). The 'scoop' came when she overheard Queen Elizabeth having a conversation with Philip. Philip wasn't really listening and looked totally bored, staring into space, hands behind his back, probably to keep himself from choking the old...
The Queen is to pay a state visit to Stephen Ireland - the first official visit to a footballers house by a British monarch. Buckingham Palace said in a statement: "The Queen has been pleased to accept an invitation from Newcastle United manager A...
London - The government has responded to HM's heartfelt plea to see her bastard son Muammar one more time. Announcing a five day State Visit in the autumn 10 Downing Street sources said "WTF?" The vanity trip comes amid reports the Colonel is s...
LONDON - Several of the city's top jewelers are extremely puzzled as to why Big Ben has suddenly stopped ticking. Wainwright Ruskinbridger, one of London's best jewelers checked out the clock and said that he was not able to figure out why it stop...
BIRMINGHAM, England - Twenty-five-year-old football star Ashley Young has just received the thrill of his young life. He recently received a personal invitation from Queen Elizabeth II, to attend her grandson Prince William's wedding to Kate Middl...
LONDON - A group of photos which have been making the rounds lately proporting to be of Kate Middleton are fake according to the woman who should know, Kate Middleton. Middleton said that she first learned of the photos when she received a text message from her future grandmother-in-law Elizabeth. Kate was so shocked to see the word "Nude" on her cell phone screen that she dropped the phone...
London - A NATO blockade of Palace bank accounts is on the cards following HM's madcap TV rant. The move follows discovery of massive Libyan oil scams to finance the upcoming royal wedding. Diplomats immediately dubbed her 'delusional' and 'unf...
London - Tragedy awaits the nation amid reports of Welsh Canwyll Corph corpse candles flickering in the mist over the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain. Early sightings reported a Prince Will-O'-The-Wisp apparition, a St David's Day salamander mate...
Benghazi - Galyna Kolotnytska has been airlifted straight to London to collect a remedy vile (sic) mixed personally by the royal physician. An SAS team parachuted Madame K directly to Whorseguards - despite her massive 44DD stonkers constantly int...
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