Dear Father Frank, Just a quick note to thank you for the social hour in the rectory last Sunday; I am very honored to have been selected the guest of honor, but I must admit that I am a bit saddened that none of the other invitees were thoughtful enough to accept your kind invitation. Oh, well, I kind of enjoyed having you all to myself; such stimulating conversation! It was wonderful to have...
Dear Father Frank,, I am writing to thank you for your prompt action in returning my car to me this morning after my terrible experiences of yesterday. It seemed to take mere moments from the time I gave Li'l Tommy my note to you for you to come! Thank you so much for sending him to the movies; he really enjoyed the outing. I would also like to thank you for sharing the Eucharist with me; a...
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. Bless me Father, For I have sinned In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen. Dear Father Frank, You may remember that I am a good, Irish catholic girl that believes in sex for procreation, not recreation. Father Frank, now that I am widowed and still attractive, I find that I attract the wrong element. Father, I tr...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA National Cheesecake Day is an unofficial holiday celebrated annually on July 30th. The observance has not been officially endorsed by any presidents, and does not have any congressional records to solidify its claim but this cert...
NYC, NY, USA Lady Liberty has attempted to commit suicide. She expressed shock and grief when informed of NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg's two year old program of shipping the homeless as far away from New York as possible. The Lady has a right t...
LONDON, ENGLAND August 1 is now designated George Harrison Day, at least in Liverpool; it should be celebrated everywhere. There is currently an on-line petition to establish a world-wide George Harrison Day. When Harrison received his "Star" on...
OSLO, NORWAY Desperately seizing upon an idea initially proposed by an on-line initiative began by avid but seriously deluded Michael Jackson fans, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin finally revealed her true reasoning behind her resignation and her...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Way back when Michael Jackson anointed himself "King of Pop" over two decades ago, his declaration was controversial. At the time he had just become a world sensation with record-setting sales of "Thriller" but people seem to fo...
WASHINGTON, D.C., USA "Cash-for-Clits", the "fleet modernization" bill that was designed to replace old, tired hookers with new, fresh ones that need less lube, practice safer sex and are less polluted was expected to give the struggling sex industr...
TULSA, OK, USA Noted toilet paper evangelist Anal Roberts recently appeared on a television broadcast of Kenneth Crapland's Believer's Voice of the Fatally Flatulent and claimed to have experienced a vision in which "Smoke, and vapor, and a rolling...
MADRID, SPAIN Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong of America, who had criticized his Astana teammate Alberto Contador of Spain as being inexperienced earlier this year, responded on Twitter to fresh criticism leveled by Contador. C...
COTO DE CAZA, CA Kevin Federline got a lot of attention when he attended Ryan Sheckler's X Games Celebrity Skins Classic at the Cota de Caza Golf and Racquet Club on Monday, July 27, 2009 in Coto De Caza, California. Just not the kind he's used to g...
ROME, ITALY At the World Swimming Championships in Rome today, German Paul Biedermann finished more than a second ahead of 14-time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps of America to win the 200-meter freestyle. It was the first time in four years tha...
OSLO, NORWAY A Los Angeles student is leading a campaign of Michael Jackson fans who hope to land the late King of Pop, Soda and Cola a Nobel Peace Prize nomination. Over 2000 Jacksonites have signed on-line petitions in support of the campaign in th...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Speculation concerning the location of Michael Jackson's missing prosthetic nose ended today when it was revealed to have been in the possession of concert promoters AEG since it disappeared during the autopsy of the late King o...
NYC, NY, USA According to her soon-to-be ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil, British singer, major druggie and full-time idiot Amy Winehouse allegedly stole cocaine from (then) super thin supermodel Kate Moss at a star-studded bash in New York held at...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Citing witnesses who saw the late King of Pop Michael Jackson's body on the autopsy table, a report in the August issue of the "Rolling Stone" magazine reveals that Jackson did indeed wear a prosthetic nose, and it was missing...
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