Amy's a Closet Coke Clepto, Claims Ex!

Funny story written by smurfette

Tuesday, 28 July 2009


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Winehouse following coke binge

NYC, NY, USA According to her soon-to-be ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil, British singer, major druggie and full-time idiot Amy Winehouse allegedly stole cocaine from (then) super thin supermodel Kate Moss at a star-studded bash in New York held at the Gramercy Park Hotel just weeks after Blake and Amy married in Miami, Florida in May 2007.

In an article in Britain's "The Sun" newspaper, Blake said, "Kate Moss and another supermodel were there, as well as Hollywood actresses. Kate had told Amy to get a 10 dollar note out of her handbag to snort lines with. But Amy told me she found two grams of cocaine in there - so she nicked them. We did some in the toilets and had sex, but we did the rest in front of everyone."

He went on to claim that cocaine was freely available to all of the guests, "There was plenty of cocaine on a table in the room available to everyone."

Apparently Winehouse feared that if the cocaine remained in Moss' possession, she would have continued to maintain her reed-thin physique, and Winehouse desperately wanted to triumph in the Battle of the Anorexic Stars over Moss and claim the title of The World's Thinnest Living Human for her own.

Judging by Moss' recent weight gain and newly wholesome and nearly healthy looks, Winehouse succeeded in her plan to sabotage Moss' quest for the title.

Winehouse is expected to enter "Rehab" to deal with her raging case of kleptomania.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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