Wacko Jacko's Nose Now New Jewels!

Funny story written by smurfette

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for Wacko Jacko's Nose Now New Jewels!
Michael Jackson Commemorative Belt Buckle, commissioned by AEG to commemorate the ill-fated "This Is It" Tour.

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Speculation concerning the location of Michael Jackson's missing prosthetic nose ended today when it was revealed to have been in the possession of concert promoters AEG since it disappeared during the autopsy of the late King of Pop, Soda and Cola.

A report in the August issue of the "Rolling Stone" magazine revealed that Jackson did indeed wear a prosthetic nose, and that it was missing from his surgically mangled face as he lay in an LA morgue. Reportedly, all that was left behind was a small, dark hole surrounded by bits of cartilage, according to the magazine, which hit newsstands Friday, July 24, 2009.

Executives at a United States company called LifeGem have previously reported that they had obtained a sample of the late Jackson's hair from a memorabilia collector, who was in possession of some of the hair Jackson burned off his scalp while filming a 1984 Pepsi commercial.

At this time, LifeGem founder Dean VandenBiesen has announced plans plans to create a limited edition set of 10 diamonds using a laboratory process that takes carbon from hair and turns it into high-quality gems, a process developed by his company in 2007, when LifeGem created three diamonds from locks of German composer Beethoven's hair. One of the stones later sold for approximately $200,000.

Upon learning of the vast potential profits, concert promoter AEG jumped on the bandwagon and procured the purloined proboscis and presented it to LifeGem with plans to produce limited edition Michael Jackson memorabilia.

AEG is said to currently be in negotiations to purchase other Jackson body parts in a bid to offset "losses" associated with the "This Is It" tour.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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