London - A flagshit - ok, flagship - organ of the British Establishment is publishing pictures of a new royal baby believed to be a Prince Andrew-Baboon hybrid. The London Sunday Smearer says three year-old olive baboon (Papio anubis) Samantha Ban...
Buckingham Palace, London, England Buckingham Palace announced today that even though Prince Andrew has never done anything wrong with any underage sex slaves, Sarah Ferguson, retired Duchess of York, will still be standing by him, but won't be provi...
A damage limitation excercise was mounted this morning after thousands of Paparazzi were noticed outside a Royal Prince's bedroom at Ferguson Palace. Royal advisors were known to have have subsequently met with the Duke of Edinburgh to explain the l...
Florida - Randy Andy will lie low at Gooose Green in the Falklands for the duration while a new, wholesome organic role is hammered out by the Palace. That means he could be back in the saddle again as early as, uh, 2065 - all being well. Only...
A spokesman for the British Foreign Office has announced that the House of Windsor has been transferred to Australia. There has been increasing speculation of late as to why the royal family are such frequent visitors to the continent. Kate and W...
London, England-Tired of living in squalid, back street non-Royal quarters, Sarah Ferguson got back in touch with her ex-husband Prince Andrew. She had been hearing that he had been confined to squalid back street palaces since their divorce, Fergie...
Shares in Edinburgh Tattoo, the high class tattoo studio chain, received a boost at close of trading last night after it was rumoured that it had contacted Balmoral Body Art, the place where Prince Andrew was rumoured to have had his famous "Mother"...
Prince Andrew has been photographed wanking with the help of his mother, HRH, Queen Elizabeth II. His tentative strokes were captured on Sunday as nephews, princes William and Harry lined up on opposing sides in the Jerudong Trophy at Cirencester...
"Attaboy" Royal Baby Hero Prince George has already gained as many medals as the Duke of Edinburgh and Saddam Hussein combined after a successful first day of duty in a combat helicopter on the front line. According to sources, he shot three terr...
East Africa - The charcoal grilled lamb-peddling terror outfit's commander has tested DNA positive as Lord Lucan's son, spawned during the fugitive peer's UK taxpayer-funded grand tour of Africa according to reports. Vladimir Dim-Eatery Lucan Shis...
London - The Queen was left looking grimly po-faced as news of the deception spread this morning confirming Foreign Orifice DNA results of a direct hit between the missing Irish peer and Prince Andrew, Duke of York. The royal cuckoo became a Palac...
London - They're squirming at MoD HQ in London today amid claims a Middle Eastern nabob has scooped up the entire 74-strong fleet at the bargain basement price of $1 billion. Retired Air Commodore Sir Monty Dam-Busta is said to have acted as the M...
London - A job ads noticeboard at a Soho newsagents window is advertising the position following an unexpected vacancy. The For Sale & Wanted ad directs applicants to the mobile phone number of a Wapping recruitment agency. And specifies th...
The Queen's recent edict cutting off private security for the Princess Uglies, Beatrice and Eugenie, is causing rising angst to their beleaguered father, Duke of Yuk, who in desperation resorted to the help wanted ads seeking private protection for...
Following the furor over recent Millinery Mayhem exhibited at the Royal Wedding, the Queen has announced her disfavor by stripping 'personal protection' from the Princesses of Yuk, Beatrice and Eugenie, an act which is said will hamper their 'pub cra...
Finally realizing the inevitable, the Duke and Duchess of Yuk have announced they are getting back together and in order to save taxpayers' money have chosen to renew their vows outside Westminster Abbey simultaneously with Prince William and Kate Ap...
The Parliamentary Voting and Constituencies Bill has now received Royal Assent and as a result, the Isle of Wight will have two constituencies instead of one. The Electoral Commission will now decide on which basis the island will be split. Previo...
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