London - They're squirming at MoD HQ in London today amid claims a Middle Eastern nabob has scooped up the entire 74-strong fleet at the bargain basement price of $1 billion.
Retired Air Commodore Sir Monty Dam-Busta is said to have acted as the MoD go-between who secured Prince Andrew's patronage as UK Rough Trade Ambassador in tricky negotiations earlier this month.
Heir-Miles Andy as he is known is believed to be on a 10% rake-off of any deals completed by the end of 2011.
One tiny blot on this dollar-rich landscape is that the entire Harrier fleet has already changed hands with the US Marines - for a reported $400 million 'plus small change'.
An international furor may now explode as Downing Street officials demand to know just how Andrew managed to pull of this greedy scam.
Officially the nitwit resigned in July from his grace and favor globetrotting position amid sordid revelations about a relationship with a seedy US paedo called Jeff Epstein.
However this appeared to be a minute contractual detail and his taxpayer-funded globe-trotting has carried on regardless.
"There'll be hell to pay for come Monday morning," MoD permanent secretary Sir Pomfret Tuck-Basket sobbed into his medicinal quadruple brandy at Shite's Club in Mayfair this afternoon.
Andrew's penchant for prompt payment in Russian roubles at a numbered offshore bank account may be a clue to the unfolding saga.
