"Pope Francis has defended freedom of expression following last week's attack on French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo - but also stressed its limits. The Pontiff said religions had to be treated with respect, so that people's faiths was not insulted or ridiculed. To illustrate his point, he told journalists that his assistant could expect a punch if he cursed his mother." (BBC report)...
London-Former British Prime Minister and converted Catholic Tony Blair called upon the Vatican today to immediately remove "dangerously subversive" Pope Francis I, and reinstate his "politically more realistic" predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI.
1) Pope Stephen VI: had his predecessor Formosus, exhumed, tried, de-fingered, and thrown to the river. and his death by strangling. 2 The Pope who sold the papacy. Benedict IX was Pope from 1032 to 1044, again in 1045, and finally from 1047 to 1048, the only man to have served as Pope for three discontinuous periods, and one of the most controversial Popes of all time. Benedict gave up his...
VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...
Rome - The big cheese in charge of guarding the Pope has been booted out of the Vatican for violating its strict regimental dress code. Commander Guido Emmental's brightly colored Comb Moron - uh, Comb Morion! - a traditional helmet made from alt...
A tape recording of a private conversation between President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and visiting Pope Francis has been smuggled out of Turkey. Released on the internet only last night, it is already causing severe embarrassment to all concerned. Th...
Rome - The cash-strapped Pope is renting out the porch of his Apostolic Palace in the Vatican for a $5,900-per-head fisting party according to reports. Frankie the Argie stands to make $250,000 from the shindig which is part of his Diabolical Arts...
The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment. 'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the id...
France - A Vatican mobile lending library belonging to the Pope's Argentinian colleague Retired Cardinal Jorge Mejia, 93, has been busted in Lyon for peddling cocaine. Police say four kilos of 95% pure Colombian coke was confiscated along with hal...
Rome - The Roamin Catlick church is in the doghouse tonight following widespread condemnation of a PR stunt involving Sudanese apostate woman Meriam Yahia Ibrahim Ishag. The 30-something mother of two flew to Rome with her family for a photo op w...
He's a nervous wreck these days, as he thinks unemployment could be looming. Sr. Cristina may want to be Pope, he's told friends, adding, "And she' a triple threat. She sings, she dances, she prays. And one more thing. She's Italian, which is...
Mexico City - The United Mexican States - more commonly referred to as simply Mexico - will close its doors later this year after 97 years as a country in its current political form. Modern-day Mexico had its beginnings with the Mexican Revolution in...
The streets of the Vatican were bustling as White Smoke alerted all the citizens. White Smoke being the official app of the Pope. The sound of Marimba echoing through the streets. "Oh Our God! Is the Pope #RIP?" tweeted @vatikitty12. Sighs of relief...
I'm a saint. No, it's true! I just heard it on the News. Pope Francis has declared me a saint. Miracles are second nature to me. As I write, adoring hordes are beating their way to the door of my bungalow because I have experienced miracles. It's a miracle I'm still alive after that near miss with the articulated lorry at that road junction near Gerona in Spain with Dennis and Gordon in Dennis's A...
In honour of canonising Popes John Paul II and John XXII, the BBC are advertising, every hour on the hour, seemingly forever, a blockbuster Top Gear special to be screened this week. The job-lot of saints John are to be celebrated with an action-packed epic of irreverent and barely legal japery. With His Holiness Pope Francis as the star guest, the team undertake an engineering Health and Safet...
Vatican Shitty, Rome - Half a dozen toots up each nostril and the Deserter Pope Joseph Ratzinger made it to today's canonisation double act a newly envigorated man. The 87 year-old former Nazi appeared in full Pontifical bling after a year's abse...
Vatican City - Pope Francis, the current head of the Roman Catholic Church, has requested that pudding be added as a selection at the Vatican cafeteria. The Pontiff, in office since 13 March 2013, has a deserved reputation of humility, caring fo...
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