New York, N.Y. - Drew Dow of Roosevelt Island is an ordinary man with an extraordinary ability: his stomach uses excess yeast in his digestive tract to ferment carbs and sugar-dense foods into alcohol. This rare health condition is called auto-brewer...
In a startling revelation, the father of recently deceased Jason Doebsin, 21, has blamed his son, not the alcohol he consumed, for his death. With Jason growing up in a generation that can't hold its beer, he was dared to jump from the top of The...
An extensive study has revealed that people who drink on a weekly or fortnightly basis with friends are in serious danger of enjoying their lives. Contrary to popular belief that alcohol just leads to health problems, fights and contracting STDs f...
HOLLYWOOD - Several Tinsel Town entertainment media publications including Bedroom Pillow Talk are reporting a story about one of the biggest teen idols of the 70s. David Cassidy who starred in the musical sitcom The Partridge Family has just been...
CARSON CITY, NV - Nevada Governor, Brian Sandoval, announced today that Nevada will lower the legal drinking age in Nevada from 21 to 12. The announcement came shortly after Colorado announced that it reaped $2.1 million from marijuana sales in J...
Although there is no evidence in the forty-nine other states (or, as yet, even in Washington, D. C.) that drinking soft drinks could be hazardous to consumers' heath, California, The Land of Nuts and Fruits, will require Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and other s...
Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...
ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI - Anheuser-Busch announced today that in light of the difficult economic times, they are making a change in the mascots for Bud Lite and their other alcoholic products. "Feeding 250 Clydesdales that weigh up to 2300 lbs. each...
CANNABISTOWN, PO--In Potlandia, marijuana is legal for recreational purposes and is commonly smoked by nearly all of the adult citizens of that country, while alcohol and nicotine are banned. But the alcohol and tobacco industries regard Potlandia's...
HOLLYWOOD - Well it will certainly be a Friday the 13th that Lamar Odom will not soon forget. His wife Khloe Kardashian, 29, has filed for a divorce on grounds of Alienation of Caressititis Boomba Boom. The couple was married in September of 2...
LOS ANGELES - The former number one party girl of LaLaLand, Lindsay Lohan has stated that she has mended her evil, wicked ways and her lips no longer touch alcohol. Lohan who spent three months in rehab told Tequila Tallyho with Left Coast Mirror...
NEW YORK CITY - American Spotlight Magazine is reporting that Tornoto Mayor Rob Ford says he cannot believe all of the BS that he is being put through simply because he told the truth. The rather plumpish mayor admitted to crack-smoking, binge dri...
Valvoline, MI - Various public health advertisement campaigns in recent years have depicted graphic ads showing real smokers and the physical pains that they suffer including tracheotomy valves and the like. Studies show that the advertisements have...
That Budgie Harold of mine, forever drinking and all the time. A squirt of whisky, a glug of Guinness it's surprise at all he's still here with us. There he go a shouhy loud at regulare passer-by, shouby in the morning tide this budgie who imbibe. But what else for a bird who sing and squawk and scream, we hang him by the lamppost bright and watch him gently dream. God Harold, noddy...
"She kept messing up the order!" stated local bar keep Jim Bean, "she'd suck it, slam it, then lick it. Then she'd try again. Slam it, suck it, lick it. Never in the right order!" When asked about the debacle, the cute patron replied "Does it rea...
MARINA DEL REY - Lindsay Lohan has made it known in the past that out of all of the bars and lounges she has been in her very favorite one is The Drunk Duck Lounge in Marina Del Rey. Lindsay has been going there for the past three years and she ha...
"For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of Sheol." -Proverbs 5:4 I'll start this in my usual stupid and inane way - If the Internet had an official bird it would most likely be a turkey vulture. If it had...
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