Queen Elizabeth II, the grandmother of Prince William, has announced that she is confused by the large number of "Queen Victoria's Secret" gift cards that have been flowing into Buckingham Palace. The cards are wedding presents for William and his b...
LONDON - As Queen Elizabeth continues to make the final preparations for the upcoming April 29 Royal Wedding she was asked by members of the press covering the highly prestigious event about some of the invited guests. The queen replied that out o...
Originally chosen by Kate Middleton based on her love of the hit American reality show "Ace of Cakes", Chef Duff, master pastry chef and cake specialist will be delivering his creation just in time for the ceremony. Having designed cakes for the H...
Berks - Astrologers working on Prince William's wedding chart reckon he's ploughing his own succession furrow - as a classic swastika formation of Lyrid meteor shower straddlles Windsor skies this Easter weekend. The annual celestial lightshow occ...
Seamus O'Toole, thought to be one of Ireland's leading chefs, has been fired, in an ignominious brawl, from the Royal kitchen that is currently in the throes of preparing the feast for the great wedding. Over a hundred kitchen staff stood in amaz...
London - A psychopomp of 'africanised' bees has been spotted swarming outside HM's bedroom window Palace sources reported today. Hellfire Club soothsayers fear the colony may be gathering in a traditional midwife-to-the-dying rite, sparked by unse...
Excuses, excuses! From Rolfo Toiletto, Master of Ceremony for the royal wedding - the editor of "Crack" (magazine devoted to the lifestyles of the aristocracy) managed to secure a list of all those who will not be attending the royal wedding and their excuses. Here are some of them: Germaine Greer: "I can hardly support my tits these days let alone the drooping institution of marriage." Sir...
In a last ditch attempt to save the Nation from the perils of 'an ordinary woman' as a future Queen, the current democratically elected hereditary monarch, is giving her all to block the deal. William has called her threat 'Blackmail' but there is...
LONDON - Queen Elizabeth is a stickler when it comes to Royal protocol. She has instructed the official Buckingham Palace physician, Dr. Hamlet "Say Ahh" Fickleberry, 97, to physically inspect Kate Middleton for any tattoos that she may have on her b...
London - Bible cryptographers have found new evidence pointing to Queen Elizabeth eating her very last Beluga caviar canapé this Wednesday. A passage in the Gospel According to Fluke says she's likely to croak it on the night ahead of her 85th bir...
A Cabinet spokesman has announced that changes to the laws on succession are being investigated. The Act of Succession, which has been in place since 1701, prevents any Roman Catholic or any female, from succeeding to the throne of the United King...
London - Has a Palace physician forgotten to remove a hirudo medicinalis - or medical leech - from the Queen's nasal passage? Red top fears for a right royal RIP are rife this weekend amid reports of HM's recent spate of nosebleeds. On Monday...
LONDON - Kanye West told FOX News that he recently received a text message from Buckingham Palace. The hip hop, rap artist revealed that the text message was from Queen Elizabeth herself. West said that at first he did not believe it and actually...
NEW YORK CITY - British native Piers Morgan says that he is really doing very well for himself and added that his talk show Piers Morgan Tonight is holding its own in the ratings. Morgan does not hide the fact that he has already in a very short s...
LONDON - Representatives for the Royal Family have announced that the only brand of beer which will be available at the Royal Wedding Reception will be the newly developed beer Kiss Me Kate. The beer was developed in honor of Kate Middleton who on...
LONDON - It is no secret around Buckingham Palace that Queen Elizabeth and her husband Prince Philip make it a point to always watch American Idol and Dancing With The Stars. Neville Twickenbuck, a reporter for The Tickety Boo News Agency stated that while both shows are being telecast the Royal couple has left strict instructions that they are not to be interrupted even if they get a call from...
LONDON - Queen Elizabeth will be celebrating her 85th birthday on April 21. Reports coming out of Buckingham Palace state that when Prince Philip asked his wife what she wanted for her birthday she replied for him to surprise her. At first Philip figured that he would buy her a brand new yacht, but then he realized that she had not used the one he bought for her back in 1995. He then thought...
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