Hillary Rodham Clinton, the junior United States Senator from New York, and a candidate for the Democratic nomination in the 2008 presidential election, has announced that if she is not elected President she will run for Pope.
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Conspiracy Mess): An image of Pope John Paul II has mysteriously appeared in the Pont d'Alma tunnel where Princess Diana met her death.
Vatican Shitty - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The Pope has suspended a high-ranking gay Catholic priest from the cross.
Portimao, Algarve - (Disaster Press): Portuguese press sources have claimed that the sinister self-flagellation sect Opus Dei is being probed about a cover-up of vital clues in the disappearance of Maddie McCann.
Portimao, Portugal - (Disaster Press): Lip-readers hired by the Portimao police have told the Special Porsecutor reviewing evidence in the Maddie McCann case that Pope Joseph Ratzinger might be shielding Kate McCann.
In an astonishing new twist to the Madeleine McCann enquiry, the Pope has been arrested and brought to Portugal for questioning about the little girl's disappearance.
LORETO, Italy (AFP) - Pope Benedict XVI hosted a colossal Catholic mass Sunday attended by half a million Italians, telling them to throw away their video games, burn their automobiles and use their cell phones to "take care of the environment.&...
NATO HQ - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Recently recovered NATO archves show that Pope Joseph Ratzinger's father was Jack "Blackjack" Bouvier, father of Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis and Caroline Lee Bouvier Canfield Radziwill.
Paris Hilton and Pope Benedict are expecting their first child together.
The thinking man's Carol Smilie, Carol Vorderman has shocked her many loyal fans by revealing her intention to be the next Pope.
Cyberspace - (Ass Mess): Pope Joseph Ratzinger ordered the CIA to erase all references to Gerry Adams' criminality from his Wikipedia entry after NATO military intelligence had confirmed that the Irish terrorist is the Pontiff's son by Puppet...
Rome, Italy - Computer analyst, Slavisa Pesci, claims to have broken the Da Vinci Code using highly sophisticated computer program software, which he designed especially for a supercomputer located in the moistened catacombs deep under Vatican City.
In an effort to increase the number of straight, heterosexual priests, the Vatican introduced a new habit for nuns. The new clothing, which more closely resembles a very skimpy Roman toga, is designed to make men want to be around women more. In...
Doctors performing a colonoscophy on President Bush this weekend were shocked when they found a long lost priest from the Vatican. Father Domino Rodriguez, had been visiting the Vatican from Venenezuela at the same time President Bush paid a visit to...
In the ongoing, childish game of "my religion can beat up your religion," Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church, approving a document that says all other Christian communities are either defective...
Vatican - (Ass Mess): The Pope has denied allegations that he imported an electric shock machine "to make people believe he could pass on the Holy Spirit".
Vatican City - (Ass Mess): Pope Joseph Ratzinger's latest daftass pronouncement about the exclusivity of the superstituos twaddle peddeld by his organised crime cartel may be a direct result of the epileptic fits he has experienced for the last t...
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