Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was recovering quietly at home this afternoon, after a walk up the shops to buy more beer left him a quivering, jibbering wreck, hopelessly consumed by a prolonged bout of hysterical laughter - otherwise known as 'pissin...
A sleepy town in Hampshire is reeling at news that their new bus link has been trashed from the Court of Appeal. Hampshire County Council are pressing forward with a new 3 mile bus lane between the towns of Gosport and Fareham but have admitted th...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Area Man" filed a petition with the California Northern District Court today to have his name changed to "Aria Mann". Area discovered that he was a female trapped in a man's body and recently underwent sex-reassignment surgery...
Marketers and researchers scratched their heads again this week as the most intensive efforts yet to profile an Omaha, Nebraska man once again proved futile. Roger Talmack, 33, a resident from Mason St. in Morton Meadows, is now believed to be the...
A Leeds man was stunned yesterday when his wife came home from work at the usual time. Lorcan O'Twat was so surprised by the incident that he had to sit down and have a stiff whisky to revive himself. The incident occurred at around 6pm as Mr O...
In a shock news announcement today, a man admitted to changing his provider three times within a twelve month period. A statement which brought gasps of disbelief from his co-workers. Gomez Sanchez says "I knew the dude for a while now, he just di...
In a shock announcement this afternoon, a local man admitted, in broad daylight, in front of customers and staff at a local shop that he had done nothing of significance all day long. Shopkeeper, Mrs Agoraki, who was behind the counter of the corn...
Save yourself the time if you're expecting a comedy with this one. Just a story about a bad week on the road. It was a repeat occurrence on a Sunday night before an early flight out, but this week was supposed to be easier than the last eight. Nothing was on his schedule for the week that should have elevated his stress level. "Here we are again" he thought. He looked towards the glowing...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was resting quietly at home this weekend following a terrifying Friday the 13th experience in the historic Hampshire city of Winchester, where he was forcefully abducted by a bunch of crazy people, forced into performing...
An Enfield resident has been reported to have cooked too much dinner for herself. Allegedly, her boyfriend, who also shared the meal, claimed he was "fine " with the portion served. 'I was happy with the size of my dinner' said her boyfriend, a...
Local man Charlie Browne has a very sensitive bottom. Due to this disability, Charlie struggles to even wipe his backside correctly. "We've tried every brand of toilet paper - from the extra soft variety to the sandpapery stuff you'd find in ca...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock last night slammed his wife on national TV. Well, not actually on national TV, more regarding the quality - or lack of it - on a UK national network. On a Saturday night. As is the accepted norm in the Shuttlecock hous...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, hasn't had a great deal to shout about recently, as he recovers from a traumatic accident involving a lamp post and the London Ambulance Service. For a time, things got even worse, as wife Anne sustained a soft tissu...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, currently recovering from a beer wound to the thumb, today ventured out of the house with a dual purpose. Part one of today's expedition involved delivering a sick note to his employer. Shuttlecock was not warmly received, but he didn't really care, because part two of the expedition involved a visit to a country inn in most pleasant surroundings. Like a river,...
In an effort to cut budgets by a quarter, central government has asked local governments to cut inessential jobs from their payroll. The call comes after Bedlington Council were discovered to be employing cheerleaders to go around local events and...
With less than a week to go, four and a bit days to be slightly more accurate, the wait may soon be over for local man Seaton Carew. With the day of reckoning due to take place this coming Friday, Carew should have to wait no longer to learn his fate, but since his change of mind recently things have been slightly clouded. The two who saw at the time of the event no longer have to wait to a...
Local man Martin Shuttlecock, currently malingering and drinking more beer than can possibly be good for him while the World Cup's on, decided to conduct an experiment last night, ahead of England's crucial World Cup clash with the mighty Slovenia.
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