Local Man Stunned By Wife's Arrival

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 25 August 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Local Man Stunned By Wife's Arrival
Mr O'Twat was surprised... like Marilyn.

A Leeds man was stunned yesterday when his wife came home from work at the usual time.

Lorcan O'Twat was so surprised by the incident that he had to sit down and have a stiff whisky to revive himself.

The incident occurred at around 6pm as Mr O'Twat, of Bellissimo Gardens, was watching the news on TV.

"I'd been home myself since around five o'clock - I get off at 4.30 and it's only a 20-minute walk home. I'd had a cup of tea and a tidy round the kitchen before I went into the sitting room to watch the news.

"I had only been sat down not five minutes when I heard the door latch. I got up and looked into the hall and saw my wife, Dymphna, coming in through the front door! Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather!

"She finishes work at five o'clock and gets the bus - the 37 goes by the end of the street. If she picks up a bit of shopping it takes her an hour to get home.

"Dymphna said my face just drained - so she sat me down and got me a drop of Bushmill's to put me right."

Top anthropologist, Dr Barbara Thesaurus, said: "This is not quite as surprising as many people might think.

"Much research has been carried out in this field and it seems that, in the vast majority of cases, people come home from work at their usual time.

"We're not too sure why this happens, but the research is in its early stages. There are major projects at Oxford and Manchester looking into the phenomenon."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more