Killer Whales or Orca's have to be charged with murder in future when they kill. The main problem is how to orchestrate the situation once they have committed the crime.Do we build bigger prisons and if we have a lot of Killer Whales charged with mur...
SeaWorld in Florida has reopened only days after a trainer was killed by a killer whale in front of the audience. There were around 2,000 people at yesterdays performance applauding and cheering as the whales moved round the tank. The whale train...
Speedo, Florida - Sea World officials announced today that all killer whales in their possession would have their real teeth removed and be fitted for dentures. The dentures would be removed for working with trainers to prevent them from eating them.
In an emergency session, after yet one more atrocity committed by killer whales, the Society for Human Association with Mammals from Under the Sea.(SHAMUS) announced: "Lurking anywhere from the open ocean to indoor lap and kiddie pools, the whale fa...
Stunned by this week's whale vs. human drowning at a Florida tourist attraction, U.S. zoologists are convening a hastily thrown together symposium in order to focus on the problem. Dr. Lloyd Flembey, acting director of Florida's "Dolphin World Aqu...
Spring came early to Windermere this year when a pod of killer whales was spotted worrying a local rower. "I was walking Margaret, that's my dog - my wife's name is Hilda - along the towpath when I heard them singing," enthused keen naturist Richa...
A killer whale called Gordon has attacked his trainer at Westminster's Seaworld. The trainer was dragged down to the very depths, just like everyone else in the country. There are rumours that Gordon had been threatening to attack for some time. G...
A killer whale has acted precisely as it should, and killed a 40-year-old female trainer at the SeaWorld marine park in Orlando, Florida. Officials described the incident as an accident, saying the woman fell in the water, but witnesses have claim...
Everything was set firmly in place, as with military precision, the 'Man With The World's Largest Penis' Bargis Tryhol, accompanied by legendary French marine biologist, Jacques Cocktail and a posse of submarine cameramen set out aboard the yacht 'Co...
Expert whale trainer, Burt Hamstead, was killed yesterday after trying to lead killer whale, Alfredo Fatface Scarlucci, to a section of the big tank where he could be more easily fed. A fellow worker, Kate Mackerel, stated that Burt had the big wh...
Reykjavík - News on the warf from the fishing captain of the Smelly Gut fishing vessel here, Captain Vjernikisivk is that his whalemeat is soon to be the coin of the realm. With the demise of the Icelandic monetary system, and the closing of all...
Tokyo, Japan - Once upon a time in a blue ocean not far from you swam gigantic peaceful creatures called whales. There were so many of these peaceful creatures that no one could count them all. Everyone in the whole world knew that these peaceful...
SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea unveiled its latest Cold War technology today, launching yet another attack against whales in the Sea of Japan as the United States and South Korea closely monitored the attempted slaughter. US sources say satellit...
A fisherman and his crew set sail from the coast of Gibralter in the early evening on the 1st June 2009. Heading off for a night time fishing expedition, spirits were high as The Rock dissapeared into the mist behind them. Suddenly, without warning there was a loud bang followed by a deep scraping sound. 'We've run aground' the captians shouted. The crew, mainly comprising of tourists,...
Nigel Beach, Jamaica/ National Geographic Whale News - In a natural disaster not seen since the last Lemming Free Fall, Global Warming Glob Al Gore was found beached and disorientated on Nigel's 7 mile silver sand beach. Complicating the matter,...
Sarah Palin, energy expert and optimist on threatened species has adapted her get tough on the bears philosophy to the Alaskan Inlet Beluga Whale. Earlier this year Palin refused to allow legislation preventing the use of polo bears in the popula...
Blue Whale females choose their mates based on size just like human hoes according to Dr Ichabod Brainerd, Harvard researcher who spent years whaling on his little joint until he stumbled upon the scientific theory that the human female will not mate...
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