As the world recession deepens there is even worse news; toilet rolls are running low and in some places there's only a year or two of supplies left. Manufacturers are working hard to find an alternative but so far, they've come up with nothing. "...
Charmin Bathroom Tissue will issue a special commemorative toilet paper next month in honor of the Sears Catalogue. The toilet paper manufacturer said that this will be their first special edition and will be a rarity for them as they normally "stick...
Just imagine it...wiping the old backside with royal faces...gives new meaning to Kiss me Arse! Always in the rush to make a fast buck, Chinese manufacturers are cashing in on the British royal wedding by rolling out bales of Royal Wedding lavator...
After spending $120M to print brand new 'counterfeit proof' new $100 notes at twice the old price, the Treasury was forced to admit today they were scrapping all 1.1 Billion of them due to a printing error! The error was not caught during the tre...
The Sarah Palin Blame Game is revving up full steam ahead against anything remotely to do or not to do with this country's beleaguered President. Palin learned early on that taking swipes at the current administration is good for her public image eve...
A local man has been left reeling and shell shocked following an all out attempt by his flat mate to not change the toilet roll in the shared bathroom of their house this evening. The trouble all began earlier today when the unnamed house sharer,...
A local man is said to be in a stable condition today after having been pulled from the jaws of almost uncertain death, but very certain need for antibacterial hand wash, following a toilet roll purchase, mix up, type confusion. The young man in q...
Mel Gibson, recently ordered to start paying the mother of his child an additional $15,000 a month in child support, decided to take the opportunity to show Grigorieva just how much he disliked the idea and penned a check on his personal checking acc...
In Local news, a recently local woman is said to be in a stable condition following a shopping related mishap, where she inadvertently neglected to purchase supplies of her usual toilet tissue. It is reported however that she had purchased a larg...
Residents of Newark, New Jersey, were shocked this week when their mayor, Cory Booker, announced that, due to a budget crisis, toilet paper would no longer be supplied to city buildings. Uh-oh. Entrepreneurial street vendors immediately ordered b...
Known as "The Toilet Paper Bandit", police in Little Rock, Arkansas believe they finally have the man in custody. "The man who always covered his face with toilet paper before a robbery seems to be the guy we arrested today", stated Sheriff Bill F...
Egyptian authorities have been looking for a way to curb a severe paper shortage that has plagued the country for almost 7 months. Shipments of tissue paper products have been suspended by a long-running strike by unions in the US and in South Americ...
Speeches and books by Tony Blair have to be turned into toilet roll and then it would at least serve some purpose. Japanese Scientists have invented a machine that turns A4 paper into toilet paper. The machine is six feet tall and weighs in at 94...
Cardiff - (Bum Rap): A Welsh company has been given a £454,000 grant from the Carbon Truss to develop new technology to make glow-in-the-dark toilet paper. The CEO of the Welsh Bot Wipe Corp said today that using an electrical current to stimulate...
The leading manufacturer of toilet paper (a.k.k. toilet tissue, butt wipe, or bumm fodder) in the United States, is being sued by a consumer for "pain and suffering" after following directions printed on the package. Irma Peepers of Tripoly, Wis...
In a blog written today, it has been disclosed that the Palace of Westminster came extremely close to running out of toilet paper. There were only two rolls left in the entire building left and it would mean that MPs would out to 'rough it out' and u...
The new manifesto promise by Labour to add a tax of £1 on each toilet roll sold in the UK has been dismissed by David Cameron as, "taxing crap". The controversial measure announced by Gordon Brown earlier in the week was launched as a "flagship ma...
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