Glow-in-the-dark loo paper 'could replace bulbs'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

image for Glow-in-the-dark loo paper 'could replace bulbs'
World leaders tested the glow-in-the-dark toilet roll for feverish brow-mopping during the Iraq War

Cardiff - (Bum Rap): A Welsh company has been given a £454,000 grant from the Carbon Truss to develop new technology to make glow-in-the-dark toilet paper.

The CEO of the Welsh Bot Wipe Corp said today that using an electrical current to stimulate certain orifices, er... chemicals! - will produce organic light emitting diodes (OLED) technology.

"This stuff can be coated onto a thin flexible film to cover walls - just like lavatory paper!" Daffy Globot's PR release explained.

The science can also be used for flat screen televisions, computers and mobile phone displays "although we do not recommend customers substitute these for old fashioned bot-wipes."

The revolutionary new light-emiting loo paper can be rolled up after use "or carried into a presentation" if needed.

"We think it could provide an attractive alternative to outdoor lighting, barbecues flares and novelty fairy lights," Globot added.

Other applications include glow-in-the-dark condoms, panty liners and tampons.

Kosher and Halal variants of the prioduct are also in the pipeline.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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