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Funny story: Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez guarantees Chelsea top four finish

Rafa Benitez was appointed interim Chelsea manager today following the dramatic sacking of Roberto De Matteo, who in six months as manager had won the FA Cup and Champions League double, but was replaced after a poor run which saw defeats to Manchest...

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Funny story: Theo Walcott 'wants hat to store his match-balls'

Theo Walcott 'wants hat to store his match-balls'

Theo Walcott and his agent are to meet with Arsenal officials this week to discuss a new contract, and rather than asking for more money, they will demand a brand new hat - for Walcott to place his match-balls in. Walcott scored three times - a ha...

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Funny story: Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Emirates Stadium, North London: Last night at the Arsenal AGM (25th Oct 2012), there were feisty discussions on whether a trophy less Arsenal, had the right to charge £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips! Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke who was insi...

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Funny story: Football Gossip October 2012 - Edgar Davids Special

Football Gossip October 2012 - Edgar Davids Special

Former Dutch international Edgar Davids has joined the football leagues bottom club, North London Barnet. The leagues bottom club? Has he been on the 'herbal cigarettes'? Has he confused his local football club with his local hairdressers... The club announced Davids joined the struggling League Two outfit because they were his local club. Well it beats commuting on the Northern Line every mo...

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Funny story: Southampton to be relegated by Halloween claims local man

Southampton to be relegated by Halloween claims local man

Southampton were tipped to be the first team to be 'mathematically relegated by Hallowen' last night as the Saints struggled to pick up a point in a tough opening month. Local man Mark Le Tissueface told local paper 'The News' the 'Adkins diet' wasn'...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 18th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 18th September 2012

Ace Michael Owen nets thief after watching raid on CCTV Full Story: The Sun He's got used to watching the action sitting down after being on the bench at Man United for so long... Felippe 'Big Phil' Scolari wants to return to manage in England after getting the push from Palmeires.... Full Story: Talksport Big Phil looking for a big job, I suggest he watches this space at West Ham to replac...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 15th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 15th September 2012

Emile Heskey is wanted by Conference side Macclesfield, who believe the former Aston Villa, Liverpool and England striker, can fire them back into the Football League. Full story: Daily Mirror Found his level? Former Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp, 65, says he still as passionate about the game now as he was 20 years ago. "Get me and Fergie together and we'll be talking about the good job M...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 16th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 16th September 2012

Anton Ferdinand is considering taking a civil action against John Terry should the Chelsea defender escape serious punishment from the forthcoming FA inquiry into his alleged racial abuse. Full story: Sunday Telegraph Apparently the case is a week Tuesday. As Ferdinand left the pitch he shouted to Terry "Oiii , C U Next Tuesday" Reading skipper Jobi McAnuff, 30, has called for football's top...

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Funny story: Hodgson to recall top goalscorer for San Marino clash after Gerrard sending off v Ukraine

Hodgson to recall top goalscorer for San Marino clash after Gerrard sending off v Ukraine

A frustated Roy Hodgson promised changes after England failed to beat Ukraine at Wembley as the countries footballers burst the sporting bubble that had filled the country with pride over the last six weeks. England drew 1-1 on the night with Euro...

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Funny story: Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Moldova 0 England 5 Moldova were rolled over by The Three Lions. Two goals from Frank Lampard, one from Jermaine Defoe and first international strikes from James Milner and Leighton Baines. I think even Leyton Orient might have scored against Moldova. Scotland 0 Serbia 0 Manager Craig Levein told the press conference he believed that his team could win all 10 qualifying games. He was wrong.

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Funny story: Football Gossip - League One Special 8th September 2012

Football Gossip - League One Special 8th September 2012

Swindon Town 0 Leyton Orient 1 The O's end the 23 home match unbeaten run of Swindon. I imagine Paulo Di Canio has promised to sack all of the players and make them train in their undies on one of the towns many roundabouts unless they apologize and write 100 lines 'I MUST DO BETTER' Crewe Alexandra 0 Tranmere Rovers 0 The first goalless draw at Gresty Road in over a year saw Tranmere drop t...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 7th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 7th September 2012

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger says he sees a future for Nicklas Bendtner, 24, at the Emirates despite sending the Denmark striker on loan to Juventus after spending a season with Sunderland. (Guardian) The club need a burger bar assistant who speaks Danish. Uruguay were going to play a World Cup qualifier against Colombia in local second division side Solo Junior's away strip until their kit...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Cristiano Ronaldo has rejected accusations he said he is "sad" at Real Madrid to get more money from the club. (BBC Sport) Its hair gel. He wants more hair gel. Trust my sources on this one Liverpool supporters' union Spirit Of Shankly has called on the club's American owners to appoint a chief executive based in the city. (ESPN) The problem is, if they did appoint a local CEO, they'd proba...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 5th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 5th September 2012

Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood admits the Gunners cannot compete in the transfer market with Chelsea and Manchester City. (Evening Standard) They are however very convenient for kebab shops and Screen On The Green cinema in Upper Street. Newcastle will try again to sign winger Tom Ince, 20, from Blackpool in January after having a £4m bid rejected. (Mirror) Rumours that the son of former...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 4th September 2012 - MICHAEL OWEN SPECIAL

Football Gossip & comments 4th September 2012 - MICHAEL OWEN SPECIAL

Michael Owen has joined Stoke City on a one year contract. This ends speculation he would rejoin old club on Merseyside, Joke City. Owen was persuaded to join after a 30 minute conversation with life-long Stoke City fan and comedian Nick Hancock. Stoke fans said it was the best ever episode of 'Hancock's Half Hour' The deal was finally completed three days after the Transfer Window closed...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Fulham may have sold Mousa Dembele to Tottenham during the transfer window, but Cottagers fans could soon be singing the player's name again, after one of their academy players - also named Mousa Dembele - scored a hat-trick for the club's U18s against Crystal Palace. (Fulham FC.com) Two Mousa Dembele's, theirs only two Mousa Dembele's, two Mousa Dembele's... Arsenal have not won a trophy fo...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012

Liverpool midfielder Jonjo Shelvey, 20, whose grandmother is from Edinburgh, has held talks with the SFA about potentially representing Scotland. (Sunday Mirror) "See you Jimmy, I mean Jonjo" England manager Roy Hodgson insists he will stick with veterans Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and John Terry. Lampard, 34, Gerrard, 32, and Terry, 31, will not be discarded as they enter their 30s. (Dai...

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