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Funny satire stories about Cigarettes

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Funny story: Herman Cain Talks About His Latest Campaign Ad Which Shows His Chief-of-Staff Smoking

Herman Cain Talks About His Latest Campaign Ad Which Shows His Chief-of-Staff Smoking

WINSTON-SALEM, North Carolina - Herman Cain brought his campaign bus tour deep into "Tobacco Territory." And GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle said that it was a brilliant move by the Republican presidential front runner or as Michele Bachmann re...

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Funny story: Iceland's Volcano is Proof of God Just Having a Smoke before Armageddon

Iceland's Volcano is Proof of God Just Having a Smoke before Armageddon

Following the disappointing Misjudgment Day and associated backlash by followers who had offered their life savings to the cause, Reverend Camping, leader of the May 21st prediction fiasco, now says that the Iceland volcano eruption is proof that God...

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Funny story: Good News: President Obama Has Quit Smoking - Bad News: He's Taken Up Chewing Tobacco

Good News: President Obama Has Quit Smoking - Bad News: He's Taken Up Chewing Tobacco

WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has told the White House Press Corps that President Obama, after months and months of trying has finally kicked the cigarette habit. The members of the media erupted in a thunderous applaus...

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Funny story: Barack Obama has quit smoking 'but still fancies the odd fag'

Barack Obama has quit smoking 'but still fancies the odd fag'

Washington AC/DC - (Smoke N Mirrors): It's been almost a year, Mrs Obama told reporters, since her husband's last affair with the dreaded weed. "Of course, I haven't really poked and prodded him on this," the First Lady admitted in reply to questi...

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Funny story: Man Nearly Drowns After Chain Smoking Water Vapor Cigarette Substitute

Man Nearly Drowns After Chain Smoking Water Vapor Cigarette Substitute

An Arkansas man is in stable condition at Our Lady of Perpetual Mercy Hospital after suffering a near drowning incident at his home in Hog Jaw. Slim Pickums, Vice Commander of the Hog Jaw Knights of Columbus was rushed to OLPM late Wednesday night af...

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Funny story: Police request cigarette smoke colour change for wintry conditions

Police request cigarette smoke colour change for wintry conditions

Smoking Police Officers experiencing breathlessness in wintry conditions through excessive exhaling due to their inability to distinguish between the smoke they are blowing out and natural water vapour created by the cold, have asked for smoke to be...

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Funny story: UN Endorses Gruesome Cigarette Packaging

UN Endorses Gruesome Cigarette Packaging

NEW YORK - The UN today formally endorsed a plan by the US Congress to incorporate disgusting imagery on cigarette packages. The plan, which is backed by the organization, Mothers Against Damned Near Everything Society Savors (MADNESS) but vehemently...

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Funny story: The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

The Big Match: Chewing Gum Fergie Versus £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza.

Old Trafford, Manchester: £200 per Ciggy Pack Wazza who has not been loyal to his wife, understandably is not loyal to his football club and now wants a move from Manchester United and Chewing Gum Fergie. In what has been classic Chewing Gum Ferg...

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Funny story: Cigarettes to be put on prescription

Cigarettes to be put on prescription

At the recent Conservative party conference it was announced by Prime Minister, David Cameron, that it would be a "jolly wheeze" to make cigarettes available on prescription. Many of his fellow party members asked him to "packet in". In what is sa...

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Funny story: Fags and Booze

Fags and Booze

Fags and booze were best of mates, back in the good old days. When pubs were thick with thick blokes and a thicker smoky haze. Smoking indoors and having a drink is what it was all about. Have a smoke, have a pint, by the way, I think it's now your shout. But fags have now been relegated, just like a losing football team, they stand outside, looking through the glass while booze st...

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Funny story: New $1.6-Billion Infrared Survey Telescope Goes Up In Smoke

New $1.6-Billion Infrared Survey Telescope Goes Up In Smoke

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Astronomer Joe Camelopardalis says he'd travel a light year for a Cancer stick, and one of these days, it will probably be cheaper to do exactly that. Nicotine junkies across the nation are hoping the Obama administration aband...

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Funny story: Cigarette Butts, the Elixir of Life for Chinese Waterways

Cigarette Butts, the Elixir of Life for Chinese Waterways

General Tsao, China. Scientists from Philo Doris Tobacco in Shanghai have announced there is a good reason to keep smoking in China. Cigarette butts are toxic enough to kill invasive species fish (darn rainbows), while the local fish (majestic carp...

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Funny story: Gitane ash continues to cloud Europe, grounding aircraft

Gitane ash continues to cloud Europe, grounding aircraft

Flights across much of the UK have been grounded for a second day as Gitane cigarette ash and second-hand smoke drifts across Europe, posing a potential threat to aircraft and more importantly, British tourism. Air traffic control body GNats said...

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Funny story: New Healthy Cigarettes

New Healthy Cigarettes

Cigarette wimp Millip Phorris unveiled it's latest product today, a new type of cigarette called Vitasmoke. Vitasmokes are an entirely new concept in smoking, not only do they offer full flavour, less tar and nicotine, but they actually provide 7 ess...

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Funny story: Menthol Cigarette Exclusion Seen as Racist

Menthol Cigarette Exclusion Seen as Racist

Washington, DC - With recent tobacco legislation banning the sale of flavored cigarettes and labels advertising cigarettes as 'light,' many are asking why menthol cigarettes were excluded from these new restrictions. Leading a protest outside the Was...

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Funny story: Cigarette Company is sued for man's suicide attempts

Cigarette Company is sued for man's suicide attempts

Another nail in the coughing has been hammered into a major cigarette company by a man who attempted to commit suicide by smoking himself to death. Mr. Havalight, 59, is to sue Balsam and Bushes for one million pounds for wrongful advertising and...

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Funny story: Researchers Working on Cigarette Flavored Latte

Researchers Working on Cigarette Flavored Latte

Durham, NC - Relief is coming for those who have always wanted to drink from an ashtray. Researchers at the Institute for Tobacco Studies announced the creation of a cigarette flavoring that can be added to coffee drinks. John Bloom of the ITS sa...

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