JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - South African officials have rallied behind a controversial new cross-dressing cross-trainer, who won the women's world 800 meters title shortly after he tucked his penis and genitals safely away from view. The runner...
Limpopo Province, South Africa - (Muscular Ass Mess): "So what if my daughter looks a bit like Frank Bruno? So does the First Lady of America but nobody's askin' to check her gonads!" Dork-Ass Semen-ya was speaking at a press conference after her...
Berlin (Relay Hurdles Sandpit). South African 800 meters runner Daisy Jockstrap has been sent for gender testing following dramatic improvements in her race times. Six months ago the 18 year old runner finished last in the youth games at Skegnes...
Usain Bolt, the Jamaican Olympic Champion has officially displaced Peter Mandelson as the Smuggest Person in the World. The Independent on Sunday published a poll earlier today listing the top 50 people who not only felt decidedly good about thems...
The credit crunch affecting the world financial markets has begun to be felt by the planners of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. The chairman of the Olympic Delivery Authority John Armitt said last month: "The consequence of what is happening in...
Usain Bolt, the Jamaican 'quick man', had a setback in todays' 200m sprint final when he fell over, but still won, breaking the World Record in the process. Terminator Bolt flew out of the blocks, but stumbled, and shattered into a million tiny pi...
Usain Bolt, the Olympic 100m champion, is at the centre of a new row today, after it was revealed by members of Beijing's official doping team, that the Jamaican is actually a cyborg. According to the Olympic dopists, Bolt, who, on Saturday, broke...
Liu Xiang, the defending Olympic 110m Hurdles champion, pulled out of Monday's race with an Achilles injury, and was immediately thrown out of China. Xiang, who was expected to be China's best hope for an athletics gold medal, had drawn support fr...
Usain Bolt, the fastest man on Earth, could be stripped of his Olympic 100m sprint gold medal after it was discovered that his name is an anagram of the silly word 'Ablutions'. Bolt, 21, is from Jamaica, where the standard way of telling someone t...
The judge presiding over the Dwain Chambers Injunction case will delay making his decision on the exciting case until tomorrow in a bid, say court officials, "to make the spectacle even more exciting."
Robert Mugabe won the 10,000 metres gold medal today, in a gruelling race that had spectators gripped.
The National Collegiate Athletics Association has issued a sweeping judgement on the nicknames of all universities which compete in the Football Bowl Subdivision.
Ahead of the Olympics this summer, the world of athletics has become increasingly concerned about the purity of the drugs that will be competing in Beijing. Many drugs, such as tetrahydrogestrinone (THG) and Modafinil, are thought to contain traces...
The 2008 Flora London Marathon starts on Sunday in the heart of the capital, and, all being well, will finish the same day, thanks to the event's organisers who have banned slower runners from competing.
Dwain Chambers, the able-bodied drug-guzzling sprinter, has caused controversy in the athletics world, by expressing his intention to race against disabled athletes at an event in Paris
The Anaheim Angels, Houston Astros and Oakland Athletics continue their court battle over rights to the nickname A's. For years the Oakland Athletics have also gone by the name A's dating back to their time in Philadelphia.
British sprinter Dwain Chambers, the drug cheat who received a two-year ban in 2004 after testing positive for a banned steroid, will be free to run in the 2008 Olympic Games, after UK Athletics reve...
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