Reeling from the recent public relations nightmare faced by United Airlines, the airline industry has publicly touted the update of choke-hold policies as making the skies even friendlier. Linda Hutton of Greeley, Colorado, found out about the ne...
Chicago - Unasty Airline CEO Phat N. Gooney announced to a crowded funeral gathering today that the airline is instituting a "Friendly Sky" way of dealing with overbookings. Instead of knocking out customers, then dragging them down the isle, set...
Folks on the Internet were surprised to see recently a photo of a big group of falcons relaxing while traveling in the cabin of a plane! Interviews with the flying falcons revealed a number of interesting things about the flight: -- For some of the falcons it was a maiden voyage. The rookie falcons put the airline-provided barf bags over their heads, so they wouldn't have to "see" the takeof...
Due to a glitch in the TSA's Delay Performance System, Trans American Flight 209 left the gate on time, took off, and landed at its intended destination on time. "We are looking into this situation. We take delay tactics very seriously, and if ou...
Coral Springs, FL - People are always looking for ways to set themselves apart from the crowd. Who the hell would have thought that putting sugar back into formerly sugar-sweetened beverages would be so popular? Well they are and some experts say...
Abu Dhabi, UAE - An American woman aboard Etihad flight 311 caused a security incident on Monday when she asked crew members to remove most of the other passengers. According to sources, the unnamed passenger became nervous when she heard other pa...
Phoenix, AZ - Gas prices are on the rise once again, and once again this means that our nation's airlines are busy coming up with sneaky new tactics to gouge a few more dollars out of the old bottom line. This week, SouthWest Airlines announced it's...
Kim Jong un announced today that his advisers have informed him that D.L.T baps are off the menu on international flights after a trial period. The tasting committee's verdict was announced this morning. The fattening sandwiches (Dutch cheese, let...
After yet another US flight was diverted; due to an argument about reclining seats and legroom one airline says enough is enough and has taken the unusual step of ONLY transporting passengers without legs. In the third serious airline legroom inci...
There have been numerous reports of aircraft disasters in recent weeks. Some of the aircraft went down in freak accidents while others were taken down by antiaircraft missiles shot by terrorists on the ground. Yesterday, in an unintended heroic act o...
New York - Former mayor Michael Bloomberg personally demonstrated the safety of flying commercial jets to Tel Aviv recently, with a well executed publicity stunt in which he down played the threat of terrorist rockets that have been raining down on t...
Columbus, OH - Port Columbus International Airport offers only one all-season nonstop flight to an international destination, namely, to Toronto, Canada. And when it does offer seasonal nonstop flights to non-U.S. destinations, they are typically to...
HMS Tireless, a Trafalgar-class nuclear submarine, was recently despatched to the Indian ocean to help in the search for the lost Malaysian aircraft, MH370. The Royal Navy has a proud history of 'finding' submerged objects such as other submarines an...
CNN anchor Don Lemon and Decoded host Brad Meltzer discussed the possibility that God about the idea yesterday afternoon that God stole a Boeing 777. "Something "beyond our understanding" happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370, that "somethin...
New Airline Operator Spanish Fly is to give Mile High Club Vouchers for free Oysters and Champagne during flights. C.E.O. Antonio Bandaid said today. "We called the airline Spanish Fly while under the influence of cocaine at the dentists." "...
BANGKOK, THAILAND - Thailand's Politically Correct (PC) Air has hired a bevy of beautiful flight attendants, but they're stewardesses with a "difference": they started life as men! Peter Chann, the airline's president, says he believes in "equal e...
HOLLYWOOD - Billionaire mogul Hugh Hefner, who made his money off of gorgeously sexy naked women, has just informed the news media that he wants to buy an airline. Hefner, stated "Not just any airline mind you. I want to buy the Aspen-based Happy...
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