The Spanish Armada was nothing compared to this show of Basque warfare. It seemed as though the stormy Bay of Biscay opened up and devoured a United team filled with European tiddlers! Wave after wave of them caught the "headless Tiddlers" swimmin...
Harry Redknapp performed a dramatic u-turn today, worthy of a cockney cab driver or posh Prime Minister, and accepted the England job even though the Football Association haven't offered it to him. Speaking at White Hart lane after Man United beat...
Die hard Manchester United fan, Donald Skoob, a janitor at Salford University, today appealed to the media, and his fellow fans, to lay off Mario Balotelli. Skoob roundly condemned the media sensationalism surrounding the young Italian striker, in...
Manchester United insiders today confirmed that United would not be running riot at Tottenham on Sunday afternoon, as the club is acutely aware of its responsibilities in respect of its own supporters, the supporters of Tottenham Hotspur, and the peo...
Former Manchester United and Northern Ireland star, George Worst, stunned the football world yesterday after announcing he plans to come back from the dead and return to professional football. Mr Worst, dead, from the Heaven area, spoke to us from...
The amazing Ryan Giggs continues to confound his critics, biology, the footy world, Sir Alex Ferguson - in fact everybody who loves soccer! He has just completed 900 games for United, a feat which will never be surpassed, and still keeps popping u...
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is to say sorry to his Liverpool counterpart Kenny Dalglish after scolding him badly last weekend over his apparent protection of Anfield striker Luis Suarez. Ferguson said after the game at Old Trafford...
Luiz Suarez, "top-sportsman" and not very good "handy-man", who just happens to apply his trade for a club that really should know better employing such ignorant apes (sorry that's an insult to an ape), decided not to wipe his bum clean. In front...
Wayne Rooney, the Manchester United and England footballer, has picked up an injury at his Doctors Private Surgery, and will miss the next two matches for his team. Dr E. Coli's nurse, Gaye Hooker explained to our reporter what took place in the D...
Manchester United defender Patrice Evra went slightly mad at Old Trafford this afternoon, as referee, Phil Dowd blew for full time, heralding a 2-1 win for United over bitter rivals, Liverpool. Two goals from Wayne Rooney in the space of three min...
A top football expert was last night revelling in the aftermath of a heroic performance by Manchester United at Chelsea. "How blooming hilarious was that," laughed EIF News & Features sports editor Thelonious Adidas. He was referring to the...
Premier League chairman were measuring their linen baskets and coaches looking over their shoulders last night upon the news that 'special one' Jose Mourinho wants to leave Real Madrid and return to the Premier League at the end of the season - but t...
Sir Alex Ferguson, alias Merlin the Magician (and he aint no Micky Mouse), has confounded his critics once again. He waved his magic wand over Old Trafford last night and up popped Pogba (no not Drogba). How he does it only he will ever know! He p...
As the transfer window nearly slammed shut today, Man City shocked the world of football today when they offered neighbours Man United old player Carlos Tevez in exchange for Paul Scholes. Scholes made a successful return to the United team after...
Manchester United 12th man and referee Howard Webb's agent Rino Maiola says the ref feels "a little bit persecuted" after clashing with Mario Ballotelli in Sunday's Man City v Spurs game. Maiola says Webb is "very disappointed and a little bit ang...
The world was football was taking in the latest news to the high flying career of David Beckham last night when it was announced he will join Equatorial Guinea for the duration of the Africa Cup of Nations. The ex Man United player recently signed...
Natasha Giggs has been snapped smooching a newspaper, as the floozy attempt to repair her love affair with the front page. The Celebrity Big Brother babe caused one of the biggest scandals of 2011 when it was revealed she had an eight-year affair...
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