Sir Times are hard, you're afraid to pay the fee I would like to ask someone in the damned ConDemned coalition why am I paying to fly the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Business Class to the Far East? Did he not say, only days ago that it would be Economy or Second Class only? What are we supposed to believe from these gangsters? Perhaps the demise of Mr Laws frees Mr Osborne from their...
Up and coming star David Laws is to be left out the England 2010 team. That was the news which stunned fans this week as the boys prepared for their first deficit-reduction match against Greece over the rest of this year. Laws had been widely expe...
Dear Sir Smile though your heart is aching Why is Nick Clegg looking so glum? He sits next to his new best friend, the Prime Minister, at PMQ's but he does not appear to participate. The Prime Minister throws his old Etonian jokes back at the Labour Party and sometimes the jokes are funny. Nick doesn't laugh. Is he playing both sides at the same time? Perhaps he is still hiding his fu...
Sensational news has just been revealed, in that Emile Heskey, the man that many did not want to travel with the England squad to the World Cup Finals, is in the pay of the Algerian mafia. Although generally classed as a donkey when it comes to fo...
Veteran US actor Mickey Rooney has been sensationally forced to rule himself out of contention for the American squad for this summer's World Cup in South Africa. Rooney, 89, pulled up heavily in training clutching his metatarsal after an accident...
English soccer 'Wags" (wives and girlfriends) renowned for their ability to spend, spend and spend even more have arrived in Rustenburg, South Africa and are completely devastated. No Gucci's, Cartiers, Dolce Cabana's luxury boutiques, etc, just p...
The Brazilian Footy team entered Zimbabwe at their peril today and offered 50.000 Zimbabweans something to laugh at, or not? Zimbabwe these days is no laughing matter with multi-millionaire scoundrel, dictator and general arse-hole, Robert Mugabe,...
Fooball bosses admitted today that "terrible mistakes" had been made when announcing England's final 23 players for the World Cup Finals. Bosses blamed Fabio Capello's inability to communicate effectively in English for the fact that Boris Johnson...
LONDON - Dr. Andy Harland is the designer of the new Adidas Jabulani football that will be used in the World Cup matches. Dr. Andy, as he is called by is wife and most of his kids, said that he actually worked on the football project with a crack...
The Home Office has discovered that record prison overcrowding is not due to successful conviction rates but innocent members of the public breaking-in to 'bagsy' seats for the World Cup. Wardens have always allowed in a trickle of people to deliv...
Emile Heskey has yet again conned his way into an England squad for the upcoming World Cup in South Africa. However, its not all sunshine and roses for Heskey. With the FA only able to afford a measly twenty three seats on the plane, there sadly w...
After much deliberation, The Italian, who looks like he's left his false teeth at home, has finally mumbled. He has named the 7 which will remain at home and have the luxury of watching the World Cup on their 60 inch LCD TVs, while guzzling a bottle...
Algeria is playing in the finals of the football World Cup in June and their coach Rabah Saadane thinks the team can win the competition - if his plan works! Mr Saadane has been having meetings with a very important Arabic person who is hiding in...
The Algerian 2010 World Cup team manager has said his team will kick the ass off the England team when the two country's meet in the first stage of this years football competition in South Africa. England will meet the formidable Algerian team on...
England goalkeeper David James has been told by FIFA to make a decision on which hairstyle he will sport during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, and to "stick to it!" James, 39, the Portsmouth goalie who is about to jump ship and sign for Spurs...
There was a mixed reaction to England's storming 2-1 victory over Japan in their final warm-up game before the 2010 World Cup yesterday, as the sweet smell of success was tainted by the ghastly aroma of Frank Lampard shitting his pants over his penal...
LONDON - Ethan Crassboro, who owns The Ethan Crassboro Fish and Chips distributorship in Bromley, says he is already preparing to hear about a dozen or so excuses as to why his employees will miss work during the World Cup Finals. Crassboro, who h...
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