English soccer "WAGS" arrive in South Africa and protest because there are no luxury boutiques in Rustenburg, shock, horror!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 3 June 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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English soccer 'Wags" (wives and girlfriends) renowned for their ability to spend, spend and spend even more have arrived in Rustenburg, South Africa and are completely devastated.

No Gucci's, Cartiers, Dolce Cabana's luxury boutiques, etc, just piles of dried elephants dung, mud, a training ground, barren landscape and their hubbies locked away like Franciscan Monks.

Immediately a spokeswoman (who shall remain nameless but her surname starts with R and ends with Y and speaks a strange tongue) threw her designer $7000,00 dollar handbag at Senori Capello and screamed; "what the fuck should we do here, watch the lions copulate!"

English Wags are the most spoilt and pampered on the planet and demand "everything" including sex, luxury and mega attention from the tabloids, naturally!

Another, not quite so spoilt "Wag" (who shall remain nameless but her surname begins with T and ends with Y) defended the choice of the location and gave the following statement;

"I'm happy for my hubby to be stuck out here in the jungle where there's only wildlife, ugly servants and no sex-crazy 'bimbos' to lead him astray!"

Capello meanwhile ignored the "wags" demands and got down to the serious business of renewing his contract with the FA and informing his offshore bank about a sudden increase in cash flow!

More from Jaggedone's intrepid CIA (cockroach infiltration army) as the World Cup progresses, his bloodthirsty six-legged reporters are everywhere!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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