Letters to the editor Scottish version

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Friday, 4 June 2010


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and I thought I had problems !

Dear Sir

Smile though your heart is aching

Why is Nick Clegg looking so glum? He sits next to his new best friend, the Prime Minister, at PMQ's but he does not appear to participate.

The Prime Minister throws his old Etonian jokes back at the Labour Party and sometimes the jokes are funny. Nick doesn't laugh. Is he playing both sides at the same time?

Perhaps he is still hiding his fury at the demise of David Laws? Perhaps he is furious that he has been found out. Did he not say, we're squeaky clean, only to be proved a little bit of a "liar liar pants on fire." Laws but also new razor man Danny Alexander have let our Nick down.

The poor guy was probably scared to face the thrashing from bojo and osbo after PMQ's. They have not thrashed a fag for a few decades.

So why the petted lip Nick?

General Sir Ivor Hardon (retired) Eton and Cambridge
69 Jolly Way
Frinton on Sea

Dear Sir

Hail Jerusalem

I cannot turn a corner in Manchester, England without a line of those flags obscuring my view of the Red Lion pub.

I also find it very difficult to drive for more than a hundred metres( oops yards the Tories are back)without a four corner flutter of flipping flags.

The phenomenon has been explained by an Irish professor.

He has found, after extensive research, there are two sizes of penis amongst UK men. There are those which fall within the normal size range and those which are less than two inches while erect.

Could all men, in the UK, with extremely small penises, make themselves known over the next six weeks by flying a white flag with a red cross from their cars?

Jock McWillie
Love Street

Dear Sir

You can't always get what you want

It has come to my attention that Vince Cable, Business Secretary in the coalition government, is rather subdued.

I am one of these sados who watches the Parliamentary Channel non stop. Vince has not been on the top of his form recently. He appears, surrounded by his friends and allies, in the House of Commons, hardly daring to move, as 307 censuring pairs of true blue Tory eyes follow his every nuance, grimace and avoidance tactic.

His answers, to questions, in the House of Commons are monosyllabic and without real substance. One has the impression that he cannot provide information.

Am I the only viewer who thinks that perhaps the Chancellor wants all the big news to himself? Is he holding it all back until the Emergency Budget on June 22? Is Vince neutered, confined to answer, "a commission will decide" every time?

Gordon J Brown
North Queensferry
The Independent Republic of Fife


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