Buried under accolades for her role in the King's Speech, the actress Helena Bonham Carter has now put the actress Helen Mirren on notice that her days are over as reigning queen of actresses portraying reigning queens. "Going forward, I deserve...
MP Harriet Harman today continued leading Britain down a long, lonely, winding road through the wilderness of ignorance and self-interest and toward a brighter equal future with prizes for all. Her latest targets are the songs that dare not speak...
Still convinced she was "just sayin'" about the sordid circumstances of that business in 2009, Daily Mail columnist and large presence Jan Moir has set her sights on saving Christmas from the clutches of sex-mad gays. "I think I can fairly say...
In a rush SPECIAL EDITION, The Daily Mail has announced the Prince of Wales and Camilla, Duchess of Co-Respondent, will continue their round of public events after a brazen failed attempt to assassinate their Rolls Royce. Drawing excessively on...
Violence by outraged students spread to Berkshire today, as twenty-three toddlers ran riot under the mistaken belief David Cameron's government planned to increase school pees. "I don't want to go potty!" screamed 3-year old Violet Babby. "I wa...
Students rampaging over increased school fees are being strung even higher by accusations they are also looters, anarchists, and arsonists following last night's epic temper tantrum in central London. "All we are trying to do is point out it is s...
Prime Minister David Cameron is moving aggressively in a bid to restore order as rioting students trash central London. "He's delighted, as a Conservative Prime Minister, to have a war to fight," said Peregrine Sympring-Knobb, an old school frie...
With her first marriage pending, Kate Middleton faces the task of setting up house as a young wife. And, having lived largely at home over the past decade, there's virtually nothing she doesn't need. "She's registered at Stella McCartney, Liberty...
Buckingham Palace is 'delighted' over the 'announcement by Clarence House' that Kate Middleton is to appear in a series of photographs by famed photographer Mario Testino. The Palace says 'we applaud the choice of Mr. Testino, whose gifted work has...
Buckingham Palace has today definitely ruled out the possibility of the wedding party dancing up the aisle of Westminster Abbey in a YouTube sensation when Prince William marries Kate Middleton in the spring of 2011. "Suggestions such as this dis...
Annoyed, embarrassed and generally resentful of the back biting and petty contents of American diplomatic cables, everybody except America is now posting on a new website, YankeeLeaks. Via the site, America's getting far worse than it gives, on a...
Political analysts said today a new poll of American politicians indicates Sarah Palin will be the next President of the U.S., due solely to the fact no one will run for the job. The poll found any American with brains would be leaving the countr...
The Princess Royal is planning from later this month to more than double the number of insults she delivers to pensioners and other unwitting gatherers at her engagements. "Her Majesty's government has declared we must do more with less, and so I...
The Doshless of York has told friends of her mixed emotions at the WikiLeaks revelations about Prince Andrew braying like an ass in front of a Middle Eastern Rotary Club luncheon. "On one hand, she sees his comments as proof they were perfectly s...
Julian/Juliette? That's the enigma wrapped in sequins which is confounding investigators the world over. The latest disclosure from WikiLeaks indicates that founder Julian Asshat may have undergone a vaguely successful at-home sex change in order to...
Somewhat remembered television presenter Yvonne Fielding was set free in court today on charges she stalked and harassed WikiLeaks founder Julian Asshat. In compelling testimony before Lady Justice Constant Sterne-Battylaxe, Fielding said she wa...
The notorious tattle tale WikiLeaks is to convert to a pay-per-view site in order to capitalize on a raft of new shocking disclosures just in time for Christmas. "We really think this represents a major advance in our business plan," said founder...
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