The Ministry of Defence has been forced to "scramble" their fighter jet flights over chicken runs in the UK because distressed chickens have been running for their lives as helicopters, fighter jets, and other UFO's (for chickens everything flying is...
Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...
As if the Trump presidency hadn't already provided us with enough surreal moments, an interview on the CNCB channel last night gave us a whole new dimension to his state of mind. While answering a question about trade embargoes with China, Trump...
Big Bend, TX - Scientists working with big agriculture have increased chicken breast size Texas style. The mutant chickens resulting from the work, according to local farmer Culo Gordo, are increasing profits by 126 percent. According to our sci...
Australian researchers have discovered that chickens are able to communicate in deep and meaningful ways. They have concluded that chickens can effectively talk to each other. Two researchers at City University in New South Wales, studied chickens...
When 53-year-old Denise Hobson first heard about the standard animal agriculture practice of "forced molting," by which female chickens are deprived of food and light for up to two weeks in order to artificially jolt their weary bodies into producing...
Shares of McDonald's stock fell 18% after traders learned that the recently introduced all-day breakfast menu was causing serious labor problems for the world's largest restaurant chain. Trading was hectic on the big board, driven primarily by i...
KFC has announced that all of its 7 Vermont locations will now feature Bernie Sanders cookbook recipes mixed with Colonel Sanders' old favorites. New menu items include: Karl Marx progressive Jewish commie chicken patties, grilled Hillary extr...
The countryside was bright at the crack of dawn and the cluck-clucking of the yard's twenty chickens sounded welcoming. Henrietta, the now famous chicken, also lived in this small farm house in rural Franklin, Texas. She clucked with the best of them and was obviously a leg up above the others. The reason? Henrietta had a new artificial leg. Henrietta the pet chicken received her $2,500...
Charles "Chick" Engals, life long Spring City, PA native left his home last week after telling his wife that he would return, she said, in an hour or so. After asking him where he was going, his response to her was, as always, that he was going to...
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Poultry Litigation & Underwriting Council (PLUC) released the results of a 17-year study Monday, linking erectile dysfunction to the consumption of red meat. The study was funded by a $136.7 billion grant from the new Unit...
Springdale, AR - Of all the foods across the world that taste like chicken, a study has found that chicken tastes most like chicken. The study was carried out by Tyson Foods, Inc. (NYSE: TSN), the world's second largest producer of not only chick...
LAFAYETTE, Louisiana - The Popeye's Chicken Fast Food Franchise is proud to announce that it has just opened the first of many Olive Oyl's Chicken Drive Thru Window Stores. The first Olive Oyl is located in Lafayette, Louisiana and there were roug...
Abigail Smithers of Washington County, Arkansas apparently will recover from several broken ribs, broken right leg, three toes on the right foot and a fresh-laid dog turd tangled up in her hair after falling off a chicken truck headed for a Purdue Fa...
SAN DIEGO, California - The Jack-In-The-Box fast food chain has just made a major announcement. Corporate spokeswoman Buffy Buttonburg told the news media that the company will be adding a new menu item effective April 2, 2014. Miss Buttonburg,...
The newest episode of Desire Washington accusing a foster farm chicken has recently been surrounded in controversy due to the fighting will of the chicken who was falsely accused. The chicken was accused of forcing Desire Washington to sit on an...
SANDY SPRINGS, Georgia - The Popeye's Chicken Fast Food Franchise has just announced a new breakthrough within their corporation. Company spokeswoman Geneva "Chicky" Queensberry informed the news media that starting in April the chicken chain will...
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