The Ministry of Defence has been forced to "scramble" their fighter jet flights over chicken runs in the UK because distressed chickens have been running for their lives as helicopters, fighter jets, and other UFO's (for chickens everything flying is an UFO) do their low-flying exercises across the country.
Apart from grounding their flying objects, the MOD has also had to pay millions of pounds to farmers because their chickens cannot lay eggs, horses are dying of heart attacks, and cow's milk is drying up before it is turned into powder because of the infernal noise!
One UK chicken farmer called, Fred Kentucky-Doodledo (no relation), told Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star poultry reporter, Lame Duck-Chickweed (name changed for legal reasons), how his chickens have been mentally scarred by low-flying objects whizzing above their heads and, here's his story:
"My chickens haven't laid any eggs since last Easter! In fact, I am thinking about breeding rabbits instead because they live underground, can't here the damn noise, and lay chocolate eggs instead of chicken eggs!"
It is obvious to Jaggedone's star poultry reporter that this particular chicken farmer has cracked his shell and, decided to accept compenstation from the MOD so he can jet away from his headless chickens and start a new life in Kentucky raising Fried Chickens instead; cock a doodle do!