From Independent News Agencies in Lisbon and a Portuguese cabdriver named Mac-The German freighter. "Bilderburger" was commandeered by "Yoder (the Boater) Geronimo and his gang of naval carpenters who quickly raised a barn around the ship and tra...
INTERCOURSE, Pa. - Although many people feel it's appropriate to pick on the Amish, the Pennsylvanian Germans are getting the last laugh. G'pickled Easter eggs are flying off the shelves of Amish food stores from Lancaster to Easton, Pennsylvania,...
New York, USA - Authorities here are preparing for the imminent Battle of Armageddon now that four Amish men have been arrested for drunken driving of a horse-drawn carriage. The Amish are known as a very devout Christian sect and locals here are...
Nine Amish men were ordered to jail for racing their horse-drawn buggies on a public highway an incident that had one responding police officer saying it was the worst drag racing event he had ever seen. The men, who cannot be named as I know no...
Horace Felchman, reformed Amish farmer turned general handy man was attempting to eat his breakfast at the Daisy Diner this morning only to have dropped a fork full of pancakes and pork sausage into his ample beard. Reaching in through the twisted f...
Bristol PA - A local Amish man attacked his wife during dinner yesterday, killing her in their home on Sundance Road. Police say the body of thirty-eight year old Elizabeth Morgan, wife of Joshua Morgan, was found by neighbors in a walk-in pantry cov...
Two religious groups squared off into an arguement that turned into a brawl as more than words were exchanged between groups of Hassidic Jews and Pennsylvania Amish. Fists and bottles both flew through the air as the two religious sects argued which...
Missouri - (Amishionary Position): Senior Amish community members ran around like headless chickens not knowing how to deal with paedo pervert Chester Mast, according to reports from the USA. The Pikey (sic) County (sic) father-of-two has now bee...
London - (Nakes Ass Mess): "Don't blame the Amish for this explicit filth!" is how one shopper with a dislocated eyeball put it today. The offending exhibit at the Great Marlborough Street store's display of vintage nudity in the form of graphic p...
Lancaster- During a stunning press conference held earlier today, Amish spokesperson, Martha Lapp, unveiled an ambitious and coordinated plan designed to eradicate the Mennonite's modest and simple manner of living in an effort to complicate their l...
It is with a false patina of regret that many County Councils in the Northwest of the UK have decided, in their extremely finite wisdom, to forbid all commercial Christmas festivities this year, and for the foreseeable future. Not to save offendin...
A young Amish boy last night emerged as the star of 'Pennsylvania's Got Talent', and immediately became a firm favourite to win the talent show. For 8 year old Samuel Heiser from Lancaster County it must have been daunting experience taking to th...
Ames, Ia.-Jonathon Yodder, the rebellious Amish rocker, died in a fiery carriage crash early Saturday morning after a night of hard living. He had just turned 27 last week and had been celebrating the release of his new album, "Raisin' Barn". It was...
Chicago Il .- The gentle, peace-loving Amish are mightily peeved after discovering that the rest of the world is making fun of them and exploiting their good name. Two Amish gentlemen were walking through Union Station in Chicago when one of them, ca...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - George Bush has decided that after he leaves office on January 20, 2009, he will be moving to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and joining the Amish community. Bush will be legally changing his name from George W. Bush to Jorgen...
The National Debt has reached $10 trillion. In an effort to pay off this enormous amount the Federal Government has started giving away States to our debtors overseas. The first to go was New Jersey to the Chinese who immediately sent in troops to take over the municipalities and factories and sealed the borders. All dissidents were put in prison and the secret police visited Bruce Springsteen...
Sizerville Pennsylvania - Amish cattle breeder Abe Withoos proudly announced a new hybrid vehicle today that he says will "Take over da roads of America, Yar!"...
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