Sovereign District of Colunbia - Obama shocked the world today when he blamed pizza and vodka for losing the election for the invalid Hicklary Clinton. He flamed that the sordid pizza emails were leaked by vodka sodden Russians. He immediately...
Last night in a news conference, Mr. Trump laid out his vision for his coming global leadership and how to improve world affairs. He made it plain his notions for world order would brook no nonsense to his instructions as leader of "the greatest c...
Last night, Satan's New Year Address 2015, held as usual in rooms beneath the House of Commons England was hugely attended. Present were all the Grand Masters of the leading Masonic Lodges worldwide, Pope Francis, the Royal Family of England, leading...
Press Secretary for President Obama's administration, Karl Von Mitty Munchausen announced today to at gathering of journalists and reporters invited to a White House tickets-only news conference the following: "General Martin Dempsey, chairman of...
Ms. Victoria Nuland, Assistant Secretary of State for European and Eurasian affairs, is being considered for a new honorary title following her heroic actions at a celebratory dinner in Riga, Latvia yesterday evening. She had just announced that U...
There has been a tidal wave of reaction from around the world to renowned physicist Prof. Stephen Hawking's statement that "the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race." Here are some of the responses: President Barack Obama: "I am surprised at Prof. Hawkings; the statement is most illogical." US Politico Sarah Palin: "They will have to learn to...
HOFBRAUHAUS, MUNICH -- Germany continued its World Cup championship celebration Monday, as its highly intoxicated and blindly aggressive government ordered troops to invade Poland. "After a few dozen steins of Augustiner Maximator, we got a little...
In a clear signal of his deep displeasure with Russian President Vladimir Putin, President Obama announced today the "nuclear option" of sanctions-unfriending Putin on Facebook. "That's right, I did it" an uncharacteristically agitated president...
Vladimir 'the invader' Putin, has revealed that he doesn't give a monkski about western sanctions, in his plan to take over the World. Speaking from his secret bunker hidden in a volcano, the Russian warlord laughed at western efforts to talk him...
"You need to always treat your kids special as one day they could be in charge of you and decide where they put you to get you out of your (their) house." That's what the guy told us at a company meeting. So I ran home and bought my kids an ant fa...
Inside reports from the Pentagon indicate new methodologies of intelligence gathering are underway in the crisis with Russia's President Putin. The essential conflict is over whether Mr. Putin's vision to protect Ukraine and Russia's interest shou...
As tension mounts in the Crimea Peninsula, with Russia threatening to attack Ukraine forces if they do not surrender, the world holds it breath to see if the $500 tip collected by Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres from a host of Hollywood stars actually get...
Hollywood Freemasons in a bid to spruce up their new image ... "we are not a secret society but a society with secrets"... and to mark their coming out of hiding after five centuries of back-room shenanigans, have financed and written a movie called "The Enlightenment". Despite psychotic editing and direction, loony tunes story line, atrocious acting, idiot dialogue and extravagantly corny s...
According to reliable sources in the Chinese Ministry of Health, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has been hospitalized in China due to his over-inflated testicles. Sources close to Kim say that a typographical and translational error occurred befo...
Russian footy thugs, hooligans, racists, piss artists and some decent supporters (not many though) are marching through the streets of Warsaw, POLAND (!) tonight in a show of strength, Big Brother is watching and over the top national pride. They...
North Korea has attributed the recent rocket launch failure to the Philippines. According to Pyongyang, the North Korean rocket was subjected to electronic warfare waged by Philippine IT experts hidden in a bunker deep under Malacanang, the president...
Tossco, Britain's biggest and dearest Supermarket chain (after Wotrose) has suffered a fall in its UK sales for the fourth consecutive quarter, despite a £500 million discounting campaign. The latter produced fantastic discounts averaging as much as...
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