The problem of immigration and asylum-seekers continues to dominate the news, not least the problem of where to locate the large numbers of applicants, whilst their individual cases are being processed. A leaked government document suggests that e...
Welcome. Dis month, I am tellin you regardin de Mr Onikubu an hees entry into the England country. Mr. Onikubu, am comin from the Nigera an very sad he say he is criminal. when I am ask why, he say in England country, if fall off back of lorry, is criminal. He come here back of skip lorry, when it get to Dover, it tip him out, he really did fall off back of lorry! Poor Mr. Onikubu, he no...
Mr T from Cameroon and Priscilla Tickle from Iran have won a landmark immigration appeal, overturning the decision to deport them, which had been based on them being able to conceal their horniness in their barbaric home countries. However this is...
LONDON - Jontussa Buffatunga and Malikeesha Quancha, two lifelong residents of Cape Town, South Africa have applied for and been granted asylum by the English government. Buffatunga said that the couple had applied and been turned down by 17 count...
An alien being from the planet Mars, who came to the UK in 2009 as an asylum-seeker, is due to be deported in the next few weeks. Mr Xxrm Shrx, aged 46 Martian years, was an unemployed sand-miner on the barren planet, when he decided he could have...
As strange as it may sound 98 per cent of Ugandan gay asylum-seekers to the U.K. are returned home, most likely to a fate of death or persecution. In a "hard-hitting" U.K. study, handed to the Home Secretary Theresa May, it was stated that asylum...
Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter 25 What If The Monkeys Really Run The Zoo? Dr. Lippshitz sat in his office, contemplating what had happened that morning. He'd run the videotape of his counseling session with the new patient back and forth all afternoon, and still didn't have any answers and no clear insight. It was a mass of confusion and lies and deception, and all mixed in with s...
Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Twenty One Mark Lowton Administrator Mark Lowton was troubled. It wasn't because he had laundry worker Eddie Valdez chasing after him (in a gay way). It wasn't because he had Dr. Lippshitz chasing after him (in a gay way). It wasn't because Amazon woman Gertie, the former Bulgarian weight lifter who worked as a guard, was chasing after him. It...
Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Seventeen People tend to be a little messed up here at the Moorview. You've got the fools who try to do everything out of order: the put their plates upside down on their trays and then put the food on the bottom of the plate, they take a shower and then take their clothes off, they write a book and put in chapters 18, 19, and 20 before they do chapter...
Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Twelve In the Laundry Room Eduardo (Eddie) Valdez was one of the invisible people. He was a man who got up in the morning, went to work, came home, ate a tv dinner while watching Lifetime network, and went to bed. He never made waves or ruffled feathers in his life at home or at work. He wasn't a member of any clubs or teams or organizations and just...
Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Ten Bobby Lee was pushing his broom through the Hub when he saw Librarian Martha Hobbs rush from the cubicle of Medical Student and knock-out blond Eloise Altoids. Martha seemed to be upset and was wiping a tear from one eye as she hurried to the staircase to descend to office. Bobby looked at the fleeing back of Martha, whom he considered more than j...
Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Eight Martha's Hospital Arrival Martha Hobbs turned north out of the cemetary and headed for work. It was Monday morning and she had just left flowers on the grave of her husband, the late Right Reverend Jeremiah Elijah Bethel Stuart Hobbs of the Springfield Evangelical Church of Christ. Martha always visited J.E.B. on Mondays, because it would not b...
Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Three Chapter Two Maybe I should start this little section of my memoir out by telling you about my day. I'm kind of an early riser, so I get up about 5:00 a.m. and head for the showers. If you go that early in the morning, there's always hot water (and you don't always get that pleasure if you get up like everyone else between 7:00 and 8:00). A...
Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter One A few days ago, one of our inmates posted this little piece on Spending Time At The Moorview Institution. While much of this was true, a big part of it was under-stated. It didn't go deep enough into defining and describing the lunatics in this place. I guess that I should know as much, or more, about them than anyone else. After all, I've been...
British immigration officials were reportedly 'utterly baffled' by a US citizen's application for political asylum earlier today. The applicant, reported to be a Mr Paul Potts, originally of Nowhere, Nebraska has told British officials that, havin...
Gordon Broon has announced that members of the government are to house asylum seekers. Geoff Hoon, Jaqui Smith, Harry Cohen and that McNulty feller who nobody really knows have been asked to help. It is believed that the shortage of housing is yet to...
After a psychological test, all members of the government have been officially registered as insane, and have been transferred out of harms way to a very comfortable nursing home-cum-asylum somewhere near Brighton. The crunch came as a result of t...
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