Sunday 29th April 2012 Topic: Development - Asda "Asda plans to regenerate derelict site in St Ann's, Nottingham" Source: BBC News Extract: Plans to build a supermarket and homes in a "run-down" area of Nottingham are to go on public display. Asda has earmarked a site on Carlton Road in St Ann's for the store, which it said could create 200 jobs. The company said the store, which...
Monday 23rd April 2012 Topic: Crime - Murder "Nottingham murder police in plea to taxi drivers" Source: BBC News Extract Police investigating the murder of a teenager outside a pub in Nottingham have appealed for taxi drivers who were in the area to contact them. Malakai McKenzie, 19, died from a gunshot wound following an attack outside the Hubb, on Hucknall Road, Sherwood, early on Saturday...
Federal transportation officials have postponed the release of "UnSafe2Drive", a free downloadable cell phone app which would allow drivers to notify highway patrol officers of hazardous road conditions and accidents via text message. An adverti...
Up to a quarter of all police officers are to be suspended with immediate effect pending an investigation into institutional ageism, fatism, simplism and racism. The whistle was blown by the Sun newspaper who have an arrangement with the home offi...
7 months ago: I managed to got permission to hold an interview with The Right Honourable Kenneth Clarke QC MP, Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice for the UK. For Thursday 5th April this year. I had to inform them of all the questions and possible questions I might ask him, 6 months in advance. 6 months ago: Mr Clarke's first assistant, The Rt Hon Lord McNally Minister of State...
Mr Gongle stood at the window of his bungalow and raised the telescope to his eye. "Fuck me Maude!" He cried, "Some bastards nicked the Solent!" "What you going on about Eric" Said his wife, as she placed the breakfast tray on the table. "The fuckin Solent has been stolen some bastard has had it away with the whole lot!" "Whatever gives you that idea Eric, you been drinking the Cuban b...
Police in Oldham, Lancashire, have been left red faced after raiding a suspicious warehouse in the Lees area. "Our intelligence was good," said detective in charge, Katrina Kitts. "The warehouse was drawing unusual power, locals had seen dodgy loo...
The Neapolitan Police Service today came under fire from an animal rights watchdog, following the shooting in East London of a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Prior to the shooting, the crazed dog had viciously savaged five police officers, some of whom...
10. "This is CA3! Charlie Alpha Three! No UFO's reported in the past 24 hours. Geronimo Amish Buggy! Repeat: Geronimo Amish Buggy!" 9. "I've had these HIC! hiccups for a week. Send someone over to scare me!" 8. "How long does it take for a 20-pound turkey to thaw?" 7. "Send a big officer right away. I can't get this lid off the jar and I've even ran hot water over it!" 6. "Bedbugs!...
Park Lane, London: Controversy has raged since the announcement from the Metropolitan Police with regards to whether an explosion occurred at either Croydon or Park Lane Police Stations. What is known is that fire crews from Woodside, Croydon, No...
The former Sun and News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks has been arrested again by police investigating the phone hacking scandal. It is believed that police turned up at her Oxfordshire home at 6am this morning primarily so they could catch Br...
TOKELAU, NZ (CWTS World News) -- Cray Zeeman, a person with schizophrenia, was shot by a police officer that also had schizophrenia after going on a rampage in a gasoline station. According to the gasoline station's cashier and some CCTV camera fo...
The sleepy village of Little Divot was left shaken to the core yesterday after a record haul of cannabis was discovered. Police launched a dawn raid on a property in Marrakech Avenue at 5am yesterday morning following a tip off from a neighbour.
Sky Atlantic has commissioned a gritty new detective series which promises to break the mould as far as stereotyping in US TV cop shows is concerned. Marmite and Whitebread are two tough, ambitious cops who have been thrown together by the top bra...
London - An eco campaigner who reckons she got pregnant after insemination by an undercover cop complained today his mugshot is on the home page of CoppersNark.con. "Of course now he's a Detective Superintendent I expect his subscription rate has...
ROME - Claiming that "presumptuous and thuggish impositions of will have disrupted the peace of our lives," a consortium of Catholic leaders around the world has formed in vehement protest of "traumatizing and intrusive" police investigations into re...
A public disturbance took place yesterday on Mansfield Road, outside the Victoria Centre Shopping main entrance in Nottingham City centre. Police were called to a fracas on a number 58 bus, as the driver tried to eject a male pensioner, who it see...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
