Up to a quarter of all police officers are to be suspended with immediate effect pending an investigation into institutional ageism, fatism, simplism and racism.
The whistle was blown by the Sun newspaper who have an arrangement with the home office to monitor every mobile phone and IP address in at least 3 ways.
The officers were suspended after a lengthy study revealed that in some cases, senior officers had been using words like 'black', 'sweaty' and 'oily' since they were children. One officer was reported to have used the word 'truncheon' inappropriately on at least 14 occasions.
The investigation was sparked after a number of questionable comments were made by the police in the heat of the London Riots. One officer trapped in a blazing warehouse allegedly branded black rioters 'stupid c****'. Another was reported to have labelled another "f****** moron" after having his leg crushed under a transit van.
The police commissioner commented that there was never an excuse for discrimination even pending certain death. He commented - "There is a human rights court in the afterlife now."