President Obama was recently eaves-dropped while talking to Bo, the White House dog. Obama: "Looking back at the history of Presidents and their dogs, assassination is far more likely to happen to me than it is to you. "I would love to do what I said I would do, but that would mean that you would have nowhere to live - so what do you reckon I should do." The dog replied: "I think you shou...
Washington, D.C.-The federal government, citing enormous cost over-runs and mounting piles of paperwork, has quietly stopped funding "End-of-Life" counseling sessions for cats. The practice, begun in 1979 under the Carter Administration's Kitty-Care...
INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania - President Obama speaking before a group of American Gynecologists was asked why it is that he thinks that he is not getting as much cooperation from some of the Republicans in the Senate as he would like. He replied, that it was because they are all wee-wee'd up. When asked by Fox News reporter Cooper Zankstrom to explain he smiled and said the the GOP'ers are bas...
President Barack Obama, firmly pointed his finger at his critics and blamed his recent plunge in popularity polls to incessant "bed wetting" amongst his House and Senate leaders. "Let me make this clear, scrap that, LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEA...
WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama today announced a new program to follow on the heels of the cash for clunkers program. In a small press conference today, lightly attended, he gave the details and motivation. "The cash for clunkers program ends...
The popular 'Cash for Clunkers' program has produced an unexpected casualty. The Transformer Bumblebee was apparently traded in by his owner Sam Witwicky. The 22 year-old Witwicky used the money to purchase a Toyota Prius. When asked about his dec...
WASHINGTON, DC - As the latest version of the hotly-disputed healthcare bill passed the House and made its way to the Senate, Republican lawmakers are up in arms about the latest provision tacked onto the legislation. This latest provision stipula...
A study conducted by Harvard University Department of Political Science determined that the average American is feeling Urinary disengagement about the proposed Obama Health Care Plan. One man, Dr. Reed Snoot of Cal Tech, said "I must admit that I...
Washington DC - On the heels of its widely successful 'Cash for Clunkers' program the Obama administration has announced a new plan to overhaul the nation's stockpile of old women. 'Gold for Grandmas' will allow family members to trade in their grand...
Beijing, China/ Business Wear Daily - At a town hall meeting today embattled President Barack Obama took time out from taking a beating on his health care program to point out the positive economic effects of his recent appointment of Hillary Clinton...
Kenya/ Obama Family Newsletter/Circulaion 2750 The recent controversy over a female South African Olympic Track and Field Winner, has now raised fears amongst liberal Democrats that Michelle may be the only Obama in the family with a pair of ba...
(AP)- Washington-Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this m...
President Obama apologized to a group of campers in the desert near Taos, New Mexico as he had given the U.S. Air Force the OK in planning bombing raids in that area as they used several huge cactus plants as terrorists. "It scared me shitless",...
Phoenix, Arizona-A long anticipated trip with his family took an unexpected detour when President Obama's motorcade passed by a large crowd of waving tourists who were trying to warn him about the gaping hole ahead. Although not on the schedule, Mist...
London - (Ass Mess): "Sure, he's got the balls for it!" was Dana Perino's comment today as Barack Obama prepared to fly to London for a snip at the Royal Freak Hospital. "Truss me," Perino added, "the President's ready to put his er neck on the l...
United States President, Barack "Doc" Obama, is celebrating this evening following the surprise passing of his healthcare reform package. The President had been expected to suffer with an inability to drive an effective bill through the approval p...
Newly elected corrupt (Iranian elections tend to be pretty "bent" and their opponents disposed of as fast as Iranian flies land on camel turds!) Iranian president Ahmadinejed will introduce 3 burkah clad women into his parliamant, only problem, nobod...
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