Gender Storm Spills Over from Track and Field to White House: Who Really Has the Balls in the Obama Household?

Funny story written by Morse

Thursday, 20 August 2009

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Rumours Abound: Who's The Real Queen in the White House?

Kenya/ Obama Family Newsletter/Circulaion 2750

The recent controversy over a female South African Olympic Track and Field Winner, has now raised fears amongst liberal Democrats that Michelle may be the only Obama in the family with a pair of balls.

A gender engineering, verification and research firm located in Lichtenstein has released a highly classified report to a select group of Democratic king makers suggesting that Barrack Obama is a Fraud, and literally lacks "a pair".

DNA samples recently lifted from a discarded unfiltered cigarette linked to the President seems to indicate he is lacking the required testosterone count to officially qualify as a male.

This has again started a frantic search on the mythical birth certificate for the square marked "gender" which appears to have been left blank, whether one is looking at the Kenyan Birth Certificate, The Hawaii Birth Certificate, The Indonesian Birth Certificate or the Birth Certificate Copy certified by disgraced former Chicago Governor Blago The Hun.

A separate ESPN investigation conducted by highly respected sports reporters who declined to be named, said the rumours could be true. The writers went to Kenya, Indonesia, Columbia and Harvard following rumors that Barry (aka Barb) Obama had only been enrolled in Girls Gym Classes, excelling in dodge ball, badminton, field hockey and ping pong.

While this could not positively be confirmed by still living sources, male classmates of Barry/Barb said that in retrospect they had never seen the President naked in the shower room after any sporting event he/she competed in.

Charles Barkley, noted NBA former player and ribald TV announcer, said he had a chance to shoot a few hoops with the Pres at the White House and said only "he doesn't really have a bad 2 handed set shot from 7'."

Tim McCarver noted baseball announcer and hall of fame catcher concluded after watching the President throw out the first ball in a recent televised game, "I could have caught him barehanded....he throws like a F****C****!"

Adding fuel to the fire was the recent publicity shots of Michelle in Short Shorts, sporting thighs of a Chicago Bear's corner back, Shoulders of a Wide Receiver, and the ass of a not so tight end. Obama, on the other hand appeared as if he had just had a full body Brazilian Wax job, and bounced enticingly on his toes as he skillfully dodged Fox News Reporters on the Sex Question.

Nancy Grace, herself the mother of twins at the age of 48, the same age as Obama, off handedly commented enviously that the Prez's ass still looked pretty tight after having 2 kids.

The fact that Michelle (Michael) has over 25 personal assistants to handle her affairs has also led to the conclusion that he/she is really the "man in Charge", "why else would she need more advisors than Barry/Barb," asked one political insider.

A well known internet Spoofer, residing in the UK commented with tongue in cheek, " I guess only their toilet seat knows for sure...it's a fooking bollocks, Mate!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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