Washington,DC/ Pentagon Update on Leaking Military News - President Obama, no longer thought of as having a decisive intellectual mind, has yet again prolonged making a military decision on Pentagon experts calling for increased US troops on the gro...
WHITE HOUSE (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama, who lately only opens his mouth to change feet, took umbrage at Fox News (this isn't news) this morning saying that the network was "unfair, unbalanced, and unnecessary." "I therefore have signed a...
WASHINGTON, DC (ANSNN) - Speaker of the US House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi (D) California, introduced a Bill this morning that would permanently silence all Republican members of congress and prevent them from voting on any bills brought u...
As previously reported, Obama had threatened to bite 'Now he's done it' "Now he's done it", hissed Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, to me as I began to take stock of the rapidly developing emergency in the Capital. "He's bitten the wrist of Fidel's brother, what's his name, and he won't let go. Darn, I know that name, I am just too upset!" Hillary then ran off to to talk to the swat...
Chicago, Il/ Urban Renewal News - The South Side of Chicago is still a 57 block smoldering pile of rubble after pre mature demolition was carried out on the property taken by 'eminent domain' by Chicago Mayor Daley in anticipation of the 2016 Olympic...
Washington, D.C. - President Obama today claimed that he was, in fact, the legendary "Buster Brown", and that he did, in fact, once live in a shoe. The announcement came during the opening monologue on his nightly television show, "24 Hours with Bar...
Following the devastating failure of Chicago's olympic bid for 2016, a bid endorsed by the President and the First Lady in person in Copenhagen, the Obamas celebrated their seventeenth wedding anniversary in understated style by having a curry in a G...
WASHINGTON DC - President Obama today held a short informal press conference with a few lessor known reporters. He chose this venue, in his office, to make a lucid revelation of the solution to all economic problems. Follows his statement. The s...
Insurance companies united today in an effort to soundly defeat Obama's threat to their huge investments by taking over the staging of town hall forums themselves. They have symbolically chosen Nuremberg, Germany as an experiment for their first majo...
This morning Republicans awoke to the terrible news of Americas loss for it's 2016 bid for the Olympics in Chicago. Not too surprisingly Republicans rejoiced at the failure of President Obama to bring the Olympics to the United States. Republican...
In an effort to make manual breast exams more accessible to American women, the Obama administration today announced a new addition to the Democrats' proposed national health care plan - the Breast Offensive National Exam Resource, or BONER. As...
Washington, D.C.-President Obama has enjoyed extraordinary popularity, he has both houses of congress and the support of nearly every union and yet his accomplishments can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Desperate to make his mark, Mr. Obama h...
WASINGTON DC - The press secretary at the White House publicly threatened to curse, "Just like Jenny Slate" in a press briefing, according to reports circulating on the internet. "I'm gonna f***ing curse so much you will forget about the f***ing J...
In a story having grave implications for the traditional special bonds that unite the UK and the USA, Michelle Obama is reported to have kicked over the traces and become a cougar. With her sites on Prince Harry, the first lady has gleefully dumpe...
BROOKLYN - President Barack Obama was in Brooklyn talking before an enthusiastic crowd of Presidential Stimulus Package Program Fund donors. He thanked them for their generous support and he assured them that every single dime that was donated wou...
WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) - The White House Office of Propaganda issued new guidelines for songs to be sung before classes begin in all schools in the US that receive Federal Education Funding. There is only one approved song allowed to be sung...
Washington, D.C.-President Obama, today, claimed that the stimulus is working. The exchange took place at the daily press briefing, where the president made a surprise appearance to announce the resignation of one leftist, and the addition of another...
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