President Obama Disrespects New York Governor Paterson

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

image for President Obama Disrespects New York Governor Paterson
The White House as it looks now, after the installation of a $1.3 million sprinkler system.

BROOKLYN - President Barack Obama was in Brooklyn talking before an enthusiastic crowd of Presidential Stimulus Package Program Fund donors.

He thanked them for their generous support and he assured them that every single dime that was donated would go towards providing substantial monetary handouts to deserving American lending institutions and banking associations.

He stressed that unlike other organizations such as Give Us Money Now and Fork It Over Folks, who spend as much as 85% of the donated funds on things such as stamps, envelopes, and paper clips, the PSPPF is different.

President Obama commented that all the donated money goes directly to the Stimulus Package Fund Departments of the respective banking foundations and trust establishments.

During the question and answer segment the president was asked about his statement that he did not want New York state Governor David Paterson to enter the governor's race.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Governor David Paterson oddly enough spells his last name with only one T. He has explained that since the second T was silent his grandfather just decided to drop it altogether.]

The president replied that the reason that he did not want for Paterson to run was because he felt that he did not have the widespread appeal and voter support needed to win New York state's top political office.

He was then asked by Robinette Abruzzino, a reporter with New York Pulse Magazine what in the world gave him the right to act in such an arrogantly presumptuous manner.

The president asked Miss Abruzzino how old she was and how much she weighed. She replied that she was nineteen and guessed that she probably weighed around 170 pounds.

President Obama replied that she looked to be about 30, and that he figured that her weight guess was probably off a good 30 pounds cause to him she looked to be around 200 pounds.

Miss Abruzzino got somewhat upset and asked him what her age and weight had to do with anything.

The president replied that it had nothing to do with anything and that he just wanted to break the thick tension that was beginning to fill the room.

Abruzzino told the president that she thought that he was being kind of on the mean side.

The smile left the president's face and he pointed his finger at her and told her that she was very lucky that she was in New York and not in Washington.

She asked him why. And he said because if she was in Washington and she asked such a insolently contemptuous and pompously uppity question he would have had her arrogant f*t ass removed from the room for her highly insultive demeanor.

He then smiled and told her but to fundamentally answer her immature-as-heck question he and his lovely wife, the sleeveless Michelle had planned his statement from the very beginning. He pointed out that there was no hidden agenda here, real or imagined.

The president said that he knows how hard-headed New Yorkers can be and so he figured that if he said something that would offend their governor, then all the Big Apple folks would be angered at his (Obama's) remark and then naturally sympathetically turn towards Governor Paterson.

President Obama said that he and his wife, the First Mama, drew out the scenario in their heads and it worked perfectly.

He said that it brought together New Yorkers from all walks of life, religious affiliations, political leanings, and even Yankee and Mets fans.

The president confided that he had received angry emails from such notables as Sean Hannity, Rudy Giuliani, Rush Limbaugh, and taxi cab driver, Tooty Agacanetti the most outspoken GOP cab driver on the east coast. Tooty, as his customers call call him, has even started a petition asking for Obama's resignation.

The president said that now that he has succeeded in angering a lot of New York residents who have said that they will be voting for Paterson his work is done.

SIDENOTE: President Obama has noted that now even die-hard Republicans have said that they will be voting for David Paterson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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